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Toothbrushes and Children

I find it more than a little discomforting to put my toothbrush in my mouth and discover that it is already wet. It's one those moments in life when a thousand questions race through your mind at the same time you're considering whether you really want the answers.

“Why is this wet?”

“Who was in the bathroom last?”

“What could it have been used for?”

“Do I detect a hint of Oil of Olay?”

“Was it the baby? (Please not the baby)”

This question opens an entire new dimension to the questions racing through the mind.

“What could the baby have been doing with the toothbrush?”

“Is it possible he was only brushing his teeth?”

“Is it possible he stuck it down the drain?”

“Is it possible he stuck it in the.... no, no I won't think that.”

The only thing you can do is brush faster. I mean you wake up that morning with what I lovingly refer to as 'heartburn mouth' and you're desperate to get the taste out. So you brush for all your worth promising yourself you'll buy a new one at the store that day... and possibly a toothbrush holder you can put up VERY high.

Then you remind yourself it's not so bad, at least you don't know what is on the brush (ignorance is bliss and all). I mean there was that one time when you were distracted by the conversation and deposited a glob of Desitin on the thing instead of the minty flavored Crest Complete with Whitening. That was a dark day. So this isn't to bad really is it?

Of course that is if you could just get that bar soap flavor out of your mouth now.

Comments

Sara Crandall said…
That cracked me up! Too funny!

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What do you think?

Mutterings of a Middle-Aged Dreamer

Use your words, my dear sweet soul, they are inside of you... So find them. Write, you silly girl, write so hard the world will never forget you.
But does it matter if the world remembers you? 
Age begins to press its hands upon your chest and the need to be remembered seems to increase with the pressure. 
Stop.
That's not a line of thought you're interested in pursuing. 
Live in the now.
Does it matter if the world remembers you if your neighbor is going hungry? 
Perhaps age is merely pushing you out the door. 
Go. Live in the now.