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Don't Touch the Boat!

Had an interesting mom experience yesterday, one of those moments where you watch helplessly as something happens and you stand there and holler as if that's going to change the outcome, but it never does.

I had to go down to the Dept. of Social Services to re-up my impoverished status, Remewin and Iyawin had to go with me (since it was midday). That's fine, I'm used to such things. After all I am a mom of four now.

Except I'm always forgetting the part where the two year old Iyawin is also the king of the mischievites and takes five hands to contain. So you can imagine what happens when my two are occupied with putting a baby back into a car.

He bolted.

There he was in his little Batman pajamas (that he has yet to wear to bed) and his blanket/cape running for all he's worth down the sidewalk.

So I pulled a 'Marlin' (you know, from Nemo).

"You get back here right now!"

"Don't...you...dare."

"Don't...touch...the boat."

"NEMO!"

It went a little like that. He didn't listen of course because he never listens. He's 2, what can you expect? I was expecting a little more since he got half a block away before I started after him.

He was in the middle of the street before I started running.

He was passing his third driveway before I contemplated dropping my bag.

Oh, it's been a long time since I've been that livid. I called Ralexwin, after I'd soundly swatted the boy, and demanded to know why boys have such a raging desire to break free. Girls may be dramatic but we don't go running pell-mell into oncoming traffic just to see if we can. Of course most girls don't go around playing contact sports either.

What is it with men/boys? Is it the testosterone? Is it something primal? What on Earth possesses them to run when the look on a woman's face says 'only if you want a slow and painful death.'

Really if you think about this, men don't pick up those facial anomalies even as adults. I'd imagine that by now Ralexwin could pick up on my 'you're going to regret it if you finish that sentence' look but I don't think he does. I don't think his sons do either.

Maybe it's my face. Is my face not emitting enough... command? Am I too soft faced?

I would have liked to be able to freeze a child with a glance yesterday. It would have helped as I was running past all those businesses, my skirt hiked up to my knees and my bag bouncing behind me.

Still, the boy was fairly penitent (ask for forgiveness rather than permission?) and when we got home he looked up with those big eyes of his and said, "No run, Mommy?"

*sigh*

Maybe it's a good thing to have a soft face.

Comments

Jennifer said…
You need to get Mom to give you lessons. When I was a kid she could freeze my blood with just one look. The woman is uncanny.
cannwin said…
well no blood freezing here, today he ran off again and i nearly killed myself when i slid in a patch of wet grass. i told ralexwin ... if this is a new 'stage' i want another job
Travelin'Oma said…
Great post! Good blogging IS good writing and never needs an excuse!
Cari Hislop said…
It sounds like its time for one of those child harnesses on a leash!!! I've seen children wearing them. I'd use them, I hate running.
Claire Wessel said…
You need a drill sergeant voice that only emerges in a life or death situation, like when the two year old runs pell mell towards the road or towards the bonfire while holding an unlit firework. I'm a gimp. I can't even give chase. But you can ask anyone at the ward party on July 4, 2008 and they'll tell you I have a drill sergeant tone that would stop Hitler. It's pretty dang effective. :)
cannwin said…
I have a harness sort of thing... perhaps your right.

As for the voice, yeah I'd scream myself raw and the kids would just laugh. No such luck with that voice.
Polly Blevins said…
Men believe in the "it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" theory. But I must say, Sage is the one who thinks she can do whatever she wants. She is always headed to the street. Cole doesn't...until Sage starts and then he heads too. My girl is the istigagtor.

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