Pepe LePew
It's one of those terrifying moments in life where you're trying to calmly talk a two and a half year old back from the edge of certain doom. When one sudden move could spell doom for the both of you and every fiber of your being is screaming while struggling to keep your voice low and reassuring.
It was one of those moments.
Friday 11:55 AM
The Mischievite was outback exploring his domain. My friends were going to be over any minute and we needed to go. So I called for him to come in. He didn't. I called again. Nothing.
So I went to find him and discovered him curiously staring at a mound of fluff that was hiding from the dog.
I looked closer. The fluff was white. Hmm I thought, and took another step forward. The fluff was also black.
My heart stopped. There he was, sitting six inches from a skunk as the dog barked two feet away.
Like I said, one of those moments.
"Come to Momma." I nearly cried. "SLOWLY!"
He got the tone.
That was the beginning of a very wild day that ended... as you can imagine... with some stinky women and a dead skunk.
Oh, and a bunch of angry Animal Control people.
But I guess that's what they deserve when they won't help someone deal with a skunk in the middle of town.
When we called them they told us that we needed to just let the skunk wander off on it's own. Oh, and then they told us our grass was too long and they were going to fine us (we mowed last week).
We waited, and waited, and waited and the skunk didn't leave. In fact it hunkered down for what seemed like a long winters sleep.
We called Ralexwin, he was an hour away and told us to let the dog at it.
We called my friends husband, he said Animal Control was stupid, but what was he supposed to do he'd just had knee surgery.
We called Melissa. My wonderful downstairs roommate.
She came home.
We love Melissa, she's our hero.
She came home and calmly made some decisions. The most important one being to let the dog at the skunk.
Which the dog (Star) was more than willing to do. We unleashed her and she bolted across the yard (Star's a Huskie). I ran in the house while my friends stayed out to watch (sadists).
Five minutes later they came in laughing. Star had done a number on the skunk and it had only managed a small pfzzt. The smell was mild and only clinging to fabric (their fabric *gag*)
Disaster averted.
Oh, except for the Animal Control nazi's. We called them to come clean up the body and they told us that we shouldn't have done what we did so we could clean it up ourselves.
Do I really pay for them to do this job?
So lets recap:
11:55 AM Baby nearly gets skunked
12:01 Animal Control fails to deliver
3:07 Melissa comes home
3:35 Star attacks skunk
3:35.37 Approximate time of death.
3:41 Animal Control makes it onto my unhappy list.
3:59 Although the back yard smells bad, the world returns to normal.
I'm sure I've left some things out. Like how Star tried to run away down the road, or how I screamed like a baby on several occasions, but that's not what's important.
The important thing is that I stood a foot away from a skunk and lived to tell the tale.
It was one of those moments.
Friday 11:55 AM
The Mischievite was outback exploring his domain. My friends were going to be over any minute and we needed to go. So I called for him to come in. He didn't. I called again. Nothing.
So I went to find him and discovered him curiously staring at a mound of fluff that was hiding from the dog.
I looked closer. The fluff was white. Hmm I thought, and took another step forward. The fluff was also black.
My heart stopped. There he was, sitting six inches from a skunk as the dog barked two feet away.
Like I said, one of those moments.
"Come to Momma." I nearly cried. "SLOWLY!"
He got the tone.
That was the beginning of a very wild day that ended... as you can imagine... with some stinky women and a dead skunk.
Oh, and a bunch of angry Animal Control people.
But I guess that's what they deserve when they won't help someone deal with a skunk in the middle of town.
When we called them they told us that we needed to just let the skunk wander off on it's own. Oh, and then they told us our grass was too long and they were going to fine us (we mowed last week).
We waited, and waited, and waited and the skunk didn't leave. In fact it hunkered down for what seemed like a long winters sleep.
We called Ralexwin, he was an hour away and told us to let the dog at it.
We called my friends husband, he said Animal Control was stupid, but what was he supposed to do he'd just had knee surgery.
We called Melissa. My wonderful downstairs roommate.
She came home.
We love Melissa, she's our hero.
She came home and calmly made some decisions. The most important one being to let the dog at the skunk.
Which the dog (Star) was more than willing to do. We unleashed her and she bolted across the yard (Star's a Huskie). I ran in the house while my friends stayed out to watch (sadists).
Five minutes later they came in laughing. Star had done a number on the skunk and it had only managed a small pfzzt. The smell was mild and only clinging to fabric (their fabric *gag*)
Disaster averted.
Oh, except for the Animal Control nazi's. We called them to come clean up the body and they told us that we shouldn't have done what we did so we could clean it up ourselves.
Do I really pay for them to do this job?
So lets recap:
11:55 AM Baby nearly gets skunked
12:01 Animal Control fails to deliver
3:07 Melissa comes home
3:35 Star attacks skunk
3:35.37 Approximate time of death.
3:41 Animal Control makes it onto my unhappy list.
3:59 Although the back yard smells bad, the world returns to normal.
I'm sure I've left some things out. Like how Star tried to run away down the road, or how I screamed like a baby on several occasions, but that's not what's important.
The important thing is that I stood a foot away from a skunk and lived to tell the tale.
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