Skiving Off


On Friday night I recieved a whopping 5 hours of sleep. This was completely and unequivocally the result of a certain mischevious three year old who crawled into bed with us and tossed and turned all night. I finally retreated to the couch, only to be woken by the baby at 4:30AM--at which point my night was over.

I was tired on Saturday, as you can imagine, but Saturday was Ralexwin's birthday so I had a lot to accomplish... including baking a cake, wrapping presents, wrangling kids, cooking a special dinner and--believe it or not--going to book club.

I fell into bed on Saturday night at around 11:00PM and swore I wasn't going to ever wake up again.

Remewin had other plans.

She woke at 1:00 AM and insisted on staying up until 2:00AM. When I finally got her back down I returned to the my sanctuary to discover it had again been overtaken by that same three year old. I tried to convince Ralexwin to move him but he just mumbled something incoherent about shoving the kid in his direction and rolled back to sleep. I grumbled and headed to the couch.

5:30AM found me awake with Remewin again. Four hours of sleep Saturday night, totalling a whopping nine hours in two nights.

I was grumpy, ornery, and snappy. I decided to try to take a hot shower to wipe away the exhaustion... the hot water was all gone.

I got out of the shower and found Remewin sitting on the floor in front of the bathroom crying. I picked her up... she stopped crying. I walked into the bedroom and set her on the bed... she started crying, I picked her up... she stopped crying. I sighed. It was going to be one of those mornings.

Baby in one arm I began to rummage through my church clothes. Nothing was fitting and I ended up in a yucky mis-matching number that screamed 'tired mommy!' I put it on.

I told the kids to get ready for church.

I yelled at the kids to get ready for church.

I threatened bodily injury if they didn't get ready for church.

I put Remewin down in order to scare them into getting ready for church. She started crying so I picked her up... she stopped crying.

It was an hour before we were supposed to be there and I was standing in the midst of screaming naked children in my frumpy clothes when I realized I was supposed to be teaching at church. I nearly cried, but instead bravely went in search for my lesson manual.

I couldn't find it, so I tore the house apart with no luck... it must have walked away.

Remewin was on the floor crying. Albowin was laying in his bed complaining of a stomach ache. Vicbowin was chattering at me about her book... oblivious to the decibel level around us. Iyawin was running around in his third pair of underwear.

I did what any mother who values her sanity would do. I retreated into my bedroom (Remewin in tow).

Everyone followed me.

That was the straw that broke the mommies back. That was it, I didn't care if I had to teach, I didn't care if my kids went to church in ripped up jeans, I was D-O-N-E. I wasn't leaving my room for all the tea in China.

Ralexwin came home and I informed him I wasn't going to church. He shrugged disappointedly and got the kids ready in fifteen minutes (grrr).

I wrote a note to the appropriate people:

M-
I'm not going to be able to make it today. Sorry to drop the ball like this, but Remewin hasn't stopped crying since she woke up and I don't really want to deal with her in public.

C.

Then I handed it to Vicbowin to pass along.

I kissed my family good-bye. Told my children to behave themselves (all from my bed, because I wasn't leaving--remember) then rolled over and fell blissfully, un-remorsefully asleep. I slept for three hours.

When they came home I was the loving, smiling mommy that they were used to. It's amazing what sleep can do for a person.

---

The note never made it to church. Instead a determined Vicbowin--realizing she'd lost the message--tried to recite it:

"Mom says she's not coming to church and you need to teach her lesson."

Comments

Polly Blevins said…
Where did the kids sit, wasn't Ralaxwin on the stand? If they stayed put, they are much better kids than mine.
Cannwin said…
Good question. Our roommate sat with them, she said they were giggly the whole time but they stayed seated... for the most part.

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