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If I Were a Rich (Wo)man

Today I'm Blog-Swapping with Evelyn from Hanging by a Silver Lining. This means I'm blogging over there and she's here.
What can I tell you about Evelyn? I've known her forever (since jr. high)... she's smart, witty, and about as nice a person as was ever made.
We'll be swapping posts once a week for the next month and we're both excited to share what we've got with some new people.
So be nice will you. Leave a few comments. :) Then hop on over to Hanging Silver and read my post (and see what she has to offer in the way of literary relaxation).

-Cannwin (PS there's a time difference so if you want to read my post you'll have to wait a while.... she's mountain time)

♪♫ Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum! ♫♪ 
Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Ahhh. The old proverbial saying "Money doesn't buy happiness". To which I say, "Well, you just ain't shopping at the right stores then!"

Don't think me so shallow that I lay awake at night thinking about money. Oh wait...I do. Allow me to say that doesn't make me shallow; it makes me human. Don't we all think about money?

On long drives, my husband and I often find ourselves talking about money. Specifically, what we would do if we had some. Sometimes we even get a little wild and crazy and imagine what it would be like to have LOTS. His list is always the same: Pay off debt, buy a house, buy a crew cab Ford F-150 pickup truck, give some to family, go to Cancun. In that order.

My list? Well, my list fluctuates. If I were a rich woman (♫ Yubby dibby dibby--ahem...) I would definitely knock that debt flat on its interest-bloated bottom first. Then I would buy a house, set some aside for my children's education, and get that pickup for the hubby (he works hard; he deserves a little something-something). But isn't that what everybody's list is like? Debt, house, car, etc, etc, etc. Blah, blah, blah.

Wait! I'm not finished! Have you ever seen the musical, Fiddler on the Roof? In the song "If I Were a Rich Man", there's a line the main character, Tevye, sings that goes like this: "I'd see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife with a proper double chin". Now that's what I'm talking about!

There's a new program on the TLC channel called The Food Buddha, where a chef travels to big cities looking for inspiration for his own cooking. Wherever he goes, he takes one look at the menu and orders "OOE" (that's code for "one of everything"). I love the look the waitresses give him and I'm always a little surprised they don't ask for his credit card before they start bringing out the plates, but bring out the plates they do. This chef tries a few bites of everything and is even generous enough to share with the flabbergasted onlookers.

That is what I would do if I were a rich woman.

I'm not talking about ordering the chicken nuggets AND the Big Mac AND the apple pie. If I had money there would be nothing "fast" about the food I would eat. I would love to walk into a snazzy and unique and EXPENSIVE restaurant prepared to have a rich and satisfying culinary experience. How awesome would it be to not think of Olive Garden as your destination for those "special occasions"? How lovely would it be not to gasp with horror at the prices when perusing the menu or purposefully avoiding anything that says "market price" because you just know that means "pricey".

I want to know what lobster tastes like. I want the good cheese. I want to order an appetizer AND dessert and not have to share. I want to have no fear when it comes to trying something new because it would be "such a waste of money" if I didn't like it. And I want to be able to walk away leaving half of it uneaten without feeling guilty for not eating every bit of that expensive meal.

Wasteful? Probably. Gluttonous?? You bet. Glorious??? OH YES!

And just when you thought I had gotten frivolous and shallow enough...I better tell you what I would do with the rest of money. I'd probably pop on a little plastic surgery too. Because who really wants a double chin??

What would YOU do if you were a rich (wo)man??? And don't even try to tell me you'd give it all to charity.


Cluttered Brain said…
i love the musical Fiddler on the roof!
it's awesome!
Thanks for writing this..
money does NOT buy happiness, no it doesn't...
Cluttered Brain said…
oh if i were a rich woman, I'd get manicures and pedicures every month--buy an i phone, attend cool blogger conferences, give my kids a shopping spree, take my family out to Disneyland, and much much more...
oh and pay off all my debts...
Ivy said…
I would pay off the mortgage that we are going to aquire tomorrow. Yay!!

I would put a lot into retirement and I would go over the college funds we have going to make sure we are doing that in the best way.

Ooooo I would go to school casually. On my own extra time.

I would help the kids find a hobby/talent that they really excel at.

I would buy a new wardrobe, do something with my hair and buy some new make up.

I would probably let my husband talk me into buying a newer car.
@Ivy: I love the attending school "casually" idea! I would love to do that too!
Myya said…
Evelyn you crack me up!!! I think my list would be the same as yours... pretty darn close anyways. What a fabulous idea doing a food experience... SERIOUSLY an awesome idea!!! You've never had lobster??? You need to come to Oregon, they are not very expensive here, I'd take you out to dinner & get you one. :)
Jennifer said…
After the obvious, like debt, retirement and college accounts, I would hire a cleaning service. And then I would hire the people from "What Not To Wear" to give me a makeover. :) And maybe my own laptop? Remodeling the house to make the kitchen bigger, a professional decorator to make up for my terminal lack of being able to prettify things, a new minivan with mileage in the 5 digit range instead of 6 digits ...
Polly Blevins said…
Same old same old. I would do the debt, savings, savings for kids, school, travel, give away to family and buy an island. I would love to own my own tropical get away with nice beaches, waterfalls, and fruit trees. I would also have a maid so I wouldn't have to clean up the sand I trudged in.
melissadc76 said…
Evelyn, I just ADORE you. What a great post :)

I'd buy land, with an old farmhouse and a barn. I have to agree with Tevya with the yard full of turkeys and geese.
I'd get a housekeeper because cleaning house has never really been "my thing".
I'd plant fruit trees and lilacs, then spend my time canning, shopping at thrift shops and estate sales (oh wait, already do that).
As far as your plastic surgery (double-chin-adectomy) I'd do that and get my boobs stuffed and re-fluffed because after 4 kids they just aren't the same as they were before.
Cannwin said…
Stuffed and refluffed! I love it!
Oh I am so there with the boob job too! I just wasn't brave enough to go there. Haha! Thanks Melissa! I adore you too! ;)

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