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Speaking of Worst Case Scenario's

We often tease my mom that she is a 'catastrophizer.' She constantly comes up with the worst possible result of any action.

In fact we're all so used to it that we rarely think twice about her thought processing. When the average person would stare in amazement at someone who said, "I don't know, what if there's a flash flood when we're at the lake," my siblings and I won't bat an eye.

We'd probably respond by saying, "We should check the weather."

One time, when I was trying to talk my mom into going on a trip with me, she emailed me 'Honey, I don't know how I feel about this. What if there's a terrorist on the plane with us?'

In exasperation I responded, 'You're right. Maybe we should just row to England.'

The problem with growing up with a catastrophizer is the high probability of becoming one yourself.

I am a catastrophizer. Albeit a silent one, but a worst case scenario gal none the less.

On Sunday I had to speak in front of our congregation. I hate doing this. I get so nervous and spend the entire week before wishing I would wake up on Sunday morning vomiting.

This Sunday was no different and what's worse I woke up as healthy as a horse. I was doomed.

I sat there through the opening hymn imagining all the horrible things that could happen while I was up there.

*I could stand up and my skirt could catch in my underwear without me knowing.

*Why didn't I nurse the baby before I came to church? What if while expounding on the gospel of Christ my breasts began to leak milk and the front of my shirt became soaked.

*What if as I was walking towards the podium and the heel of my shoe broke and I tumbled UP the stairs.

All these things ran through my mind, but none of them could have prepared me for the most logical of situations.

The Mischievite.

Have you ever seen 'The Prince of Egypt?' At one point in the movie Pharaoh, in frustration, raises his eyes to the heavens and says, "Why do the gods torment me with such reckless youths."

I think that sometimes.

Like on Sunday's when I'm standing in front of my congregation and my 3 year old decides to join me. Or when the said 3 year old decides to leap and bound around next to me because he LOVES being the center of attention.

I think those words when I try to wrestle him into a seat whilst the mass of people watch and wait.

::headdesk::

In the most loving way that I can possibly say this... HE KILLS ME.

After church Ralexwin looked at me and said, "I think he's harder than Vicbowin and Albowin combined."

If the Mischievite weren't so danged cute I might agree, but he looks at me with those gorgeous eyes of his and my heart melts, even when he's leaning precariously over the podium for the world to see.

Even when he comes into the chapel with his pants around his knees (like he did two Sundays ago).

He melts my heart and makes me want to bury myself all in the same moment. I'm afraid I have a class clown in the makings here and I'm not sure how to handle him.

Comments

Jennifer said…
You know, I never thought about it, but I do the same thing too. Only, I always follow up by having a plan for how to deal with it in case it happens. Just this morning at the park I was thinking, while watching my kids play, what if our car went over a bridge into a lake and we were trapped? And then I started making lists of the things I would do - get the kids unbuckled, fasten them to me somehow (straps of my purse?), find something to break the window with, etc.

You mean, it's MOM'S fault I do this?

BTW - have you talked with her lately? Because I haven't gotten a hold of her for weeks and I was wondering if she had died or something...
Cannwin said…
Yes, she must have fallen down the stairs, broken her back and for some reason Emarfar and the dogs aren't there. AND the little button mom wears for situations such as that must have come off during the fall and is now sitting three steps up from her broken, crippled body.

I think I talked to her last week. Albowin got a letter from her on Saturday. And I'm pretty sure our sister hasn't committed murder :)

What on earth has that woman done to us!?
Jackie said…
I always play the worst case scenario game in my head. Then I think, "I can live with that." Then I go for it.

But maybe I'm not thinking of the WORST. :)
Hey I have a catastraphizer for a mother too! Watch out for freak snow storms mid summer if you're planning on driving farther than 10 miles away from home. Ridiculous! My siblings and I just roll our eyes too. Haha

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