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Do you ever have those days when you just wake up and think 'Gah'?

Some days I wake up and I honestly wish I was a hermit.

It doesn't make sense really. I have all these things to enjoy in life, but some days I look at my beautiful children smiling up at me, my sweet husband coming in from running, all the nice emails from people I know and I just glower.

I glare and mutter and wish I could go back to bed and wake up on another morning in a quiet little cottage with ivy climbing up the walls by a small pond in a big forest. There would be a warm fire burning on an open hearth and books would line every corner of the tiny space.

And there would be nothing but the crackling logs and the chirping birds to disturb me.

No sense what-so-ever.

Because I know I hate being away from those I love. I know how bored I get when I'm all alone. I know how lazy I get when I read to much and how I let my self deteriorate at a rapid rate when I have a book in hand.

Still, when Remewin is screeching at me to pick her up and the Mischievite is whining about watching a movie and Ralexwin is giving me that stoic quiet that means he's displeased, it's all I can do sometimes not to rip all my hair out and dash into the wilderness laughing maniacally.

Do you ever have those days?

The only thing that saved me from that mood today was my Remewin wandering into the bedroom with pink marker covering just the tip of her nose--like a clown. I suppose I could have wailed at the fact she even had the dumb marker in the first place, but all I could think about was how adorable she was. That's what saved me.

That's what I clung to when Albowin refused to give me a kiss goodbye or even a wave--lest I forget how angry he was about not getting a butterscotch this morning. That bright pink nose helped keep me from biting off Vicbowin's head when she screeched at the Mischievite for saying she looked like a barbie.

And when I had to climb into the car with the growling, snapping, whining Irish Twins in -2* weather. I clung to her little nose to remind myself that I didn't want to live in a tiny, cozy cottage without all these people.

I'm barely convinced though... and I'm waiting to see how the rest of my day plays out before I start pulling out those maps and marking prospective locations.


Anonymous said…
Ok, so I remember this conversation we had one time about wanting one of those old world libraries with books lining the walls. I remember telling you that it had to have a fire place and you disagreed with me. Are you coming around to my way of thinking because of your -2 weather or did you just see the great wisdom that I was sharing with you?
Cannwin said…
Hmm, I must be coming around to your way of thinking because I don't remember ever thinking that a fireplace wasn't a good idea in a library. :)

Of course, the weather does sway me a bit.
Anestazia said…
Oh, I have those days... except it tends to last more like 3 or 4 days for me. Enough time to really upset the people around me, especially if they're not used to it. Maybe you should just express how you ought to spend that day by yourself and do what makes you happier, if anything. Even if its laying in bed and watching a movie. I know when I get like that, all I want to do is lie in bed... Good luck with your day. :)

Anestazia <3

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