Mischievite pointing to computer: Your diarrhea.
Me: You mean my diary?
Mischievite: Yeah, diarrhea.
Mischievite: Mom, how did those people get turned into statues?
Mischievite: Pretend you a big giant mountain.
Mischievite: Hello, big giant mountain, what's your name?
Mischievite whispering: Mom, you're a GOOD big, giant mountain.
Me whispering: Okay.
Mischievite: Big giant mountain what your name?
Mischievite: Mom! Talk!!!!
Me: But I'm a mountain.
Mischievite: A TALKING mountain, Mom.
Mischievite: Mom, do you like fresh fingers?
Me: Fresh fingers?
Me: Sure, they are the tastiest.
Mischievite after being walloped by his little sister: That's why we shouldn't have a baby.
--- And a little extra ---
Vicbowin: What's the fastest animal in the world?
Me: I think it's the Cheetah.
Vicbowin: No, that's the fastest mammal. What's the fastest living thing?
Me: Umm, I have no idea.
(Note: It's the Peregrine Falcon.... it can dive at over 250 miles per hour)