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Thanks To You

(I'm sitting here trying to type and Remewin is throwing herself at me. Imagine a small under 2 year old bodily throwing herself towards the computer and me swatting her back. I'll win... I always win this game.)

Okay, so... what to blog about today.

I was over at Hanging by a Silver Lining this morning watching her vlog about accents and I thought I'd do one too, but then I couldn't find my camera. So I just watched all her videos she had up.

At the end of one of the vlogs, Evelyn took a minute to say thanks to all her readers. It was very sweet and perhaps because I seem to be feeling a little extra female right now I very nearly almost cried.

I think it's because she said, "Being a stay at home mom can be very lonely and a lot of my friends come from the blogging world."

AMEN SISTA!

Mothering is a very lonely job (just so you know, now Remewin has a bowl of cereal and is eating it on the floor of my bedroom) and it's a very thankless job.

This blog has become a real life-line for me. When you guys comment it's like a big huge hug every time I check my email.

(oh, now she's back and covered in mush... it's her secret weapon)


When I started blogging I did really as a curiosity, a way to write down what I was thinking and then have it shown back at me all pretty like. Now it's completely evolved into this conversation between friends. Like a super-phone call.

Have you ever had a phone friend? One of those people you spend hours talking on the phone with but rarely see?

When Ralexwin was in Iraq I had a friend like that. We met at a Soldier Support meeting after discovering we had the same purse. We exchanged numbers and then for the next year we spent HOURS on the phone every week. She lived on one side of Phoenix and I lived on the other and so we never really saw each other, but we totally connected over the phone.

That's how blogging feels. I've met such great people. I know each of my regular followers, even the ones that only comment once a year.

So, thank you all for being such a great support group. Thanks for being my silent friends, because in motherhood you take 'em as you get 'em. :)

(P.S. I totally won)

Comments

Gr8Life said…
I couldn't have said it better!
I am always at home unless I am at a Dr.'s appointment, therapy, or the grocery store. Not one of those places are my idea of a great place to spend your time.
My oldest son was born with a recessive genetic defect and when he was 18 months old we found out about it because he stopped walking and crawling. So they told us there was no treatment and that he would die.
The illness is very hard on the children that have it and causes muscle wasting, nerve pain, muscle spasms & and a regression of abilities to the point the become a vegetable like state.
Also they get sick very easily. So needless to say because of that we were home everyday all day most days.
I had a sister that lived here at the time and she was a life saver I never had company unless her or my mother-in-law came over. And my husband works for himself so he would leave at at 5:00 am everyday except Sunday and come home around 11:00pm. Which did nothing good for our marriage and was a very lonely existence for me.
Our son died just after his 3rd birthday in 2000.
Then we had 2 healthy children then our 4 child was born with the same illness as her older brother but since we knew about it we were able to get her an experimental Bone Marrow Stem Cell Transplant. It is not a cure but it did slow down the illness. And now she is 7 and doing o.k. much better than expected and in a mainstream 1st grade class. She does require a lot of attention but it is very rewarding.
I know people especially fellow church goers like to think they are there for you in your time of need but my experience is that it is a rarity. If your not family, or a friend, or a friend of one of their good friends you are often left on your own. My visiting teachers never came over ever. One time the R.S. president did come and asked about our situation I explained it to her, she broke down and started crying and asked what she could do to help. I told her the one small thing that would help would be to have someone come over for 1 hour once of twice a week to play with my baby so I could get a break she said she would see what she could do. I never saw her again (except at church).
We had twin girls in 2006 that were born early at 23.5 weeks due to a condition called twin-to-twin transfusion they lived about an hour and died. My R.S. presidency had meals scheduled for me (which I didn't want) And left a plant on my door step with a card.
Then in 2008 we had our last child and of course we had him tested at birth to see if he had this awful illness and we were overjoyed when they said he was a healthy baby boy. When he was 15 months old we knew things were not right and had him tested again and the test came back that he did have this illness and since he has symptoms he could not be transplanted. So we had to tell our older children that their baby brother is dying. One of the worst day's of my life.
This ward we are in now they have tried to be helpful which is a nice change.
But still many times you are not included in things and you can't go to things because you have to be home and not just anyone can watch a child with such fragile health.
I have joined a discussion group of people who's children also have this rare genetic defect and although we have never meant they are close to my heart because I know they know how hard it is to deal with this on a daily basis emotionally & physiologically.
Other people just seem to come across as feeling awkward and so they just ignore you because that seems to be the easiest way for them to deal with it since it's out of their comfort zone.
So it can be a very lonely especially when all of your family that could & would be helpful don't live near.
(only my in-laws live near and they are rarely helpful)
So Yes I really appreciate Facebook, blogs & any way to talk to others since I am very homebound. I truly do care about my virtual friends and if I meant them in person I would like to think it would be like greeting an old friend.
I almost got teary myself while saying it. I'm glad my sincerity came across. I was sad to hear you are not moving as close to me as I would have hoped. I have enjoyed really getting to know you through your blog even though we knew each other IRL first. Guess that's what we will have to stick with. Works for me! :)
Deila said…
You know, it is kind of a lonely job, I often felt that way, especially with my first child and when my husband traveled (not as bad as yours). You are the only one, no breaks, lots of repetitive messes, but the loves you get keep you going. She looks darling too. Keep writing.
Cannwin said…
@Gr8Life

Wow, I bow down to your greatness.

What struck me the most while reading your story was that your screen name is so uplifting. It is a great life! Even when we have to endure hardships we never, ever, ever thought we would have to.

When my husband was gone to Iraq it was my friends who helped me survive. I never saw home teachers, I never knew what was going on at church...

I remember this one time standing in the hall with my horrid little 10 month old Albowin (seriously... I should blog about his baby years, can I say nightmare) he was screaming and crying and clawing at my face and I was almost in tears. But I was a young, young mom and I didn't know what to do with him. Vicbowin was in nursery and I didn't want to interrupt to go get her out and take them both home, so I just stood there in the hall thinking all sorts of non-spirit inducing things.

Then this lady walks past me and says 'oh, been there' and keeps going.

I didn't go back to church until he was 18 months old, and then I'd only go for the Sacrament itself and for classes. I didn't even go into the chapel.

Then they stopped sending the sacrament into the halls, because 'some people only came for the Sacrament and didn't actually stay for anything else.'

I was so alone and lost and I probably would have called it quits on the church entirely if it hadn't been for this one incredible woman. No one else seemed to notice my existence but she not only knew me and my trials with having a husband at war, she knew my children by name. She was a formidable advocate. I started hearing stories of how she'd gone to the Bishop and given him a once over about how I wasn't able to take the Sacrament because of his new rule and why it was an injustice for the wife of a soldier to not be able to participate in such an important ordinance.

It's those people that make things so much better. Online and off. It's the ones that notice and stop to help that make it all just a little easier.

I've tried to learn from that experience with her, because she kept me from giving up on the church... not the gospel, just the church.

I'm on your side too, just so you know. If you ever want to unload you can send me the longest email in the world and I'll read every inch of it just for you. :)
Cannwin said…
@Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining

It's funny how things work out that way. I always remember you as having the brightest smile on your face, it hasn't changed!

Someday we'll see each other again IRL I'm sure. Maybe when all this shifting life phases is over for me I'll end up somewhere in the SLC area. :) Maybe.
Gr8Life said…
Thanks,
I do tend to get a bit wordy when I start typing. I loved your story. It is people like your friend that makes the world a much better place. I have meant other people through the discussion group that have more to deal with than I have and I bow down to their greatness. I have meant 2 different families that only have 3 children and they found out that ALL of their children have this awful untreatable illness. Another family has 5 older children and 4 of them have this illness.
There is always someone who struggles more than you do.
Thank you for your blog and your responses.

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