The Great and Random Ramblings of Cannwin

One of my best friends in the world suffered a severe blow to her morale several years ago when her husband filed for divorce. My friend 'T' lost everything she had save for two things... her faith and her son. In the subsequent years I have watched as my friends unwavering faith in Jesus Christ has molded the very fiber of who she is. During difficult times, 'T' attends the temple as frequently as she can. Sometimes even daily. When she is struggling she seeks out priesthood blessings. When she is sad or lonely she prays. She truly, and thoroughly relies on the Lord for everything in her life and by extension enables her son, now 9, to witness the daily miracles that are wrought in their lives. Sheri Dew points out that: “Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail. When we understand the ...

Sister Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President said: “Mothers who know are nurturers. … To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. ... Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work." Now I don't know about you, but that is a lot of pressure. Just reciting that quote sends my mind into a tailspin of failings, dissapointments and regrets. It takes a lot of silent convincing ...

Just before I moved away from South Dakota I was asked to speak in church about motherhood. This is what I had to say (in 3 parts): Several months ago there was an online article that made it's way through the blogging community regarding the fascination non-Mormon women have with what they dub 'Mormon Mommy Blogs.' As the article spread like wildfire through the very niche it talked about, Mormon Mommy bloggers around the world chuckled in unison. “ [To] use a word that makes me cringe, these blogs are weirdly "uplifting." To read Mormon lifestyle blogs is to peer into a strange and fascinating world where the most fraught issues of modern living -- marriage and child rearing -- appear completely unproblematic. ...This seems practically subversive to someone like me, weaned on an endless media parade of fretful stories about "work-life balance" and soaring divorce rates and the perils of marrying too young/too old/too whatever. [But], Mormo...

Orange Rose from the funeral. Last week a friend of mine had to go to a funeral. It wasn't one of those peaceful ones where an elderly person has gone to a better place. It was the funeral of an infant. My friend's sister had been pregnant, around 30 weeks when the baby stopped moving.. The sorrow that reverberated through their family was felt in my own home. I have never lost a baby (God willing I never do), I've never even had a miscarriage, so this topic is one that I approach with hesitation and hope that my sympathy will be felt by all reading. When my friend got home we talked about death and pregnancy while she decompressed. We discussed the realities of such a situation, and the potential emotional repercussions her sister might suffer from. Then my friend said, "I sure wish I could get her to come to church with me." Church. It might as well be a four letter word. It's the 'fantasy of the delusional'. Or is it? Religion is th...

Amidst the flash of camera's and the scratching of pencils, Cannwin spoke to reporters this morning about the whirlwind that struck her home over the weekend. "I'm just glad we all made it through in one piece. To be quite frank, I was certain we were going to have some bumps and bruises." It all started last week when Cannwin realized she'd taken on to much. "I looked at my calendar and thought to myself, 'I'm only one woman.' " Cannwin, a professed member of the LDS faith did not blame her religion for her overscheduling. "Many people think that Mormon women are 'forced' to be perfect. That's a common misconception. I never feel pressure from the men in my life to be better. It's all self-inflicted." She went on to describe the events of those harrowing 48 hours. "Friday night I told my husband that I'd rather not go to bed, because then I'd have to wake up. It was a hard moment for me, knowin...

Good morning my people. It is once again too early to be awake but the Remewin has decided it was time, so until she falls asleep I am here. Waiting. I was reading a magazine yesterday and it had an article that began something like this: If you haven't heard of Julianne Hough by now you are in the minority. Um? Okay. Have you heard of Julianne Hough ? Because I have no clue who she is. Well, now I do, a little. She's some TV personality. And that is where the problem lies, I don't have any channels. *shocked silence* Yep, we are non TV people. There was a time when we were BIG television people, but I decided that wasn't working for us. So when we moved from Phoenix we conveniently lost the rabbit ears and, surprising as it may seem, life went on. Nearly three years have passed and although we rent certain TV shows (thank you NetFlix ) we have not gone back to having channels. There is one drawback though--I'm not very up to date on the current fads. I only see ...

In his lifetime Sitting Bull was leader/chief of the Sioux. He was a strong opponent to the continued settlement of the white population and subsequent relocation of the Native Americans . He refused to be settled onto a reservation. These actions were valiant, indeed they were great and stirring to the soul, but in furthering my argument about the need for a leader and a fighter it could be stated that Sitting Bull's actions might also have been ineffective and perhaps unknown to history were it not for Crazy Horse. I consider Crazy Horse to be the fighter in this example. When Custer was sent to enforce order it was Crazy Horse who used the weapons. He was the sword that moved the injustices wrought upon the Sioux into our school books. However, would the actions of Crazy Horse been remembered if not for the actions of Sitting Bull? I believe the two to be inseparable, but in roles rather than in person. The leader had need of the fighter to further their cause. Equally the fight...

I began to write more voraciously than ever before. I wrote poems, stories, and songs. I wrote in a journal, in my notebooks at school, even on scraps of paper strewn throughout the house. Through words I was able to create the picture of a girl trapped between custody battles, fist fights, abusive boyfriends, and bad choices. Some days all I could bear to do was scratch holes into my paper, scribbling furiously trying to release the emotions trapped inside of me. I spent most of my money on notebooks, diaries, and anything else that held a blank page. Then, in what I know to be the singularly greatest event in my life, my mother sent me to live with my brother. She had done everything in her power for me and was still losing. So it was, that at the age of seventeen I packed my bags and, without a word to my friends, left determined to change my destiny. * The apartment is a tiny one bedroom, my space inside it even smaller. I've got the fold out couch and this little closet stuff...

Least favorite subject, hands down, is fourth period literature with Mrs. Oakleberry. No one ever seems to listen in here. She’s a plump woman, and her name always makes me wish she wore wild clothes like the teacher in The Magic School Bus books, she's odd enough. According to rumor, the woman doesn’t own a television. I can’t imagine what she does for fun. Today she announces a new section, poetry. Everyone groans, I groan. Mrs. Oakleberry smiles and pulls out her book, we follow suit. Her voice is loud and clear seemingly unaware of the chatter around her. With the first words of “The Highwayman” she holds me captive. My ears ring slightly as my eyes focus on the dark and distant moors, the moon rising across a ribbon of road. And the highwayman came riding. Riding, riding, The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn door. * It was in that moment that I discovered poetry. Words sang in my soul once more and after many years I picked up books again, drinking in the rhythmic...

The smell of dust and summer surround me as I lay encased in the swinging arms of our bright-red Brazilian hammock. A breeze drifts through the cloth, cooling me, moving me slightly. The dog wanders over and sniffs at me curiously trying to discern the red cocoon dangling in her territory. The house is silent. No one is yelling. No one is home. It isn’t odd to be left alone; I enjoy it, look forward to it. I look forward to the undisputed use of the hammock, the uninterrupted hours where I can disappear into a world more dangerous than my own. I turn a page of The Case of the Vanishing Boy; Jan is hiding in a van scared; he blinks and is transported to safety. I wish I could close my eyes and leave, close my eyes and go somewhere else. A squirrel scurries across the ground. The dog barks. I move my hips a little to get the hammock moving again; Jan is hurrying along the hedge, avoiding lights, avoiding danger. He’s so strong, I wish I were strong. Our car pulls into the driveway, a...

Two: Righteous Anger Brings About Righteous Purposes. The acts of patriotism wrought throughout time and the marvelous speeches and writings given during such turmoil are by far some of my most favorite literary works. Perhaps this is why I don't have a strong opinion either way on this topic, because I am so keenly stirred by the righteous defense of freedom. You may say to me “violence merely increases hate”-MLK Jr. at which point I would say, i s violence always predicated by hatred? W ar and defense have brought about some of the greatest results in the history of the human struggle. What of the acts of the brave soldier's in the World Wars. If there had not been someone to stand up and fight Hitler how many more would have died? Any time I think of a battle worth fighting for, I think of 'The Title of Liberty': “ In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children” Alma 46:12 Is that not reason enough to take up arms? ...

It is widely argued that the act of war, or in a lesser sense, violence, can have an impact for good on humanity. I'm not sure where my opinion lies in this field. So I would like to make two separate points and see where they lead. Some of the references I use may be unfamiliar to some of my readers, mostly those who randomly stumble upon me, since the majority of my friends are of the same faith as I am, if you are interested in the quotes I would be more than happy to direct you to where they come from. One: Violence begets Violence. Like the saying goes, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” “ But I say unto you... whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.” Matthew 5:39-41 Perhaps, for some, a weak beginning, as it comes from the Bible, which so of...