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Belief In Things Unseen

Orange Rose from the funeral.
Last week a friend of mine had to go to a funeral. It wasn't one of those peaceful ones where an elderly person has gone to a better place. It was the funeral of an infant.

My friend's sister had been pregnant, around 30 weeks when the baby stopped moving.. The sorrow that reverberated through their family was felt in my own home.

I have never lost a baby (God willing I never do), I've never even had a miscarriage, so this topic is one that I approach with hesitation and hope that my sympathy will be felt by all reading.

When my friend got home we talked about death and pregnancy while she decompressed. We discussed the realities of such a situation, and the potential emotional repercussions her sister might suffer from.

Then my friend said, "I sure wish I could get her to come to church with me."

Church. It might as well be a four letter word. It's the 'fantasy of the delusional'.

Or is it?

Religion is the basis of every society. Without religion there would be no law, no justice, no moral compass with which to follow. Man would be no better than the beasts of the earth, roaming wild and without purpose.

And yet we, as a society, shrink from the demands of a Deity we cannot see nor touch. We chafe at the simple guidelines given to bring us greater joy, happiness and fulfillment.

How bad is it to?:

Not steal
Not kill
Not commit adultery
Not lie
Not covet

One of the basic tenants of my faith is that this life is a mere blip in the grand plan of God. We existed before we came to this Earth and we will exist for eternity's beyond. In that light it seems a little easier to follow simple laws.

But fewer and fewer people choose to commit themselves to such beliefs. Less and less do we see reverence for all things holy. More and more we regard sacred things as if they were modern mythology.

Imagine, if you will, that there is a place we go to, that our loved ones do reside in another sphere and that when we pass beyond death we will be able to see them again.

Why would we choose to not accept that? What gain do we receive by denying such a thing?

My friends sister is suffering from one of the greatest losses ever conceived of. Not only did she lose her child, but she was required to give every ounce of physical energy that she possessed to deliver his body to the grave.

Why is it wrong to suggest that her child is somewhere better? That he is happy and smiling and waiting for her?

Admittedly, I was raised in a religious home. The concept of NOT believing is beyond me. For me, it is not merely having faith, but having knowledge that there is something more. It only makes sense.

Knowing that there is more beyond this world allows me to focus my efforts on those things that are really important: raising healthy, morally straight children, strengthening my marriage, building up myself.

Knowing that there is more beyond this world allows me to accept my mistakes and move on.

I cannot imagine what this young mother must be going through. Losing a child is the worst imaginable outcome of my life. It is a fear that haunts my dreams. Yet, what knowledge I have of the greater picture gives me an altar with which to lay my fears.

I wish that all could accept that there is more than just this world. I wish that all would simply go to church and feel the power that lies beyond our eyes.

I wish that my friends young sister would allow herself to be wrapped in the loving arms of a Father that is unseen, a Father that I know exists and loves and cares for her and me and you.

Jenny Matlock


So it's amazing that this is one of the first things I read this morning after helping my sweet little daughter in law to make funeral arrangements for her baby she lost earlier in the week. I want you to know that your words were a great comfort to me right now. God does work in mysterious ways...


Rocky Mountain Woman
Amy said…
My stillbirth was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. It tested the boundaries of my faith in a way nothing else has. I can't imagine going through that without any faith at all. I would have been adrift.
Sue said…
Beautiful post. Faith is a wonderful thing.

A beautiful and important post. Thank you for writing and sharing!
Cannwin said…
Rocky Mt. Woman & Amy- My heartfelt love and sympathies are yours for the taking. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

And thank you all for your sweet, kind comments.
JDaniel4's Mom said…
I am so blessed to know that I walk each day with God. With a toddler a prayer life for me is necessary. I can't fathom what it would be like to not have Him by my side.

I will be praying for her in this difficult time.
Nora Johnson said…
A very important post - faith is truly a wonderful thing.

Thank you for sharing this with us,


PS Mine this time is HERE. Hope you've the time to stop by.
Christy said…
Beautifully put. Having lost 4 babies to miscarriages and 1 infant of 4 months I cannot fathom where I would be without my faith!
Myya said…
My heart breaks for this family. Your words were perfect. My sisters have all miscarried at one point & a close friend who was due 10 days after my 2nd baby lost her son late into her pregnancy. I feared my entire pregnancy. Being a mom is the most incredible, wonderful, amazing but also scary as all heck things in the world! I hope your friend encourages her sister to come at least one time, I bet she will find comfort & want to come back.
Jenny said…
This is a lovely post. Really touching and poignant.

I have been on that path of sorrow more times than I care to remember.

And, although, I am not a religious person I consider myself spiritual. I believe in living life kindly and with compassion and care.

Your words will bring comfort to many.

Thank you for sharing them.

And thank you for linking this heartfelt post to Alphabe-Thursdays journey through summer school.


(and a hug from me to you!)
myorii said…
Love your take on this prompt. I'm sorry for the loss that your friend's family is going through. I don't even want to ever imagine having that kind of loss.

As for the religion...I was raised Catholic all my life but I also had a falling out with my religion when I was in college. It's not so much that I don't believe in God anymore or that I turned my back on my own faith. I am disappointed in the way that the church deals with certain things and I can't live with myself if I follow a religion that hurts others. I strongly believe in God and that he loves all of us regardless of who we are and how we choose to live.

You are right in that having that faith and believing that there is something more powerful that our own existence does make a difference in how we live our lives. For me, just knowing that God is there helps me deal with death and it helps me get through a lot of the tough times.
Cannwin said…
Thanks for your comments! I really appreciated all of them and so did my friend. :)
Susan said…
I am a bit behind on my comments on the colors. I had a 2nd trimester miscarriage at the age of was before ultrasounds...but I had felt life, and we had heard the heartbeat. it was a horrible ordeal, as things started happening a few weeks before I actually "lost" the baby, and was put on meds and bedrest. Not to mention when it happened, my doc was out of town and the answering service was to call the covering physician, so they kept waiting for what he wanted done with me in the ER. after 2.5 days of being on an ER gurney in an alcove in a super busy ER. The doctor finally came in, and said he never got a call until that morning. He discharged me with no instructions other than to call my doctor the next day.

Did I mention that when the "bottled up" our baby (to send to the lab) as I lost it all in one piece(the sac, baby, placenta) the nurse put it on the unit's desk on the end right where my hubby was using the phone yo call out parents? How horrible, it took me a LONG time to really get over this, I had written a poem to our "Jennifer" and carried it with me for years in my wallet. She'd be going on 32 now. She was due around Thanksgiving, and every year, I have a few moments to myself to grief just a bit for that life, taken back by God to be an angel, I believed that then...I still believe that now. However, I will tell you that life has been beyond hard for me along on many levels, and still, and to others in my family. When it is as if NOTHING but bad things happen, you start to question, if nothing happens to straighten out some of that "bad" in NOT having any prayers answered in a positive way. you never get back the spirituality you may have once had. I now question the very existence of god and a heaven. I do not consider myself an atheist or an agnostic, maybe just a lost, and back-slidden Christian. Your friend's sister may benefit from church, and maybe she won't. That will be up to her and God. I feel God will pull her toward him, if that is what he wants or she needs. Otherwise all you can do is pray for not push.

PS...sorry but I think this would have been better as one of your regular posts on your blog, and not part of the rainbow summer school which is meant to be something fun and uplifting, not something so serious and sorrowful.

No worries, you won't hear from me anymore as this color week (orange) is the last week I comment on nemes with word verification--you are expecting visitors and comments, though you make then jump thru hoops.
Cannwin said…

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the rage that I would feel if such a thing had happened to me. My heart goes out to you and I pray that you have found peace within your sorrow.

As for the word verification... it keeps the creepy oriental sex spam from commenting, so I'm okay with leaving it up, since my children read my blog.

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