Skip to main content

You Don't Love Me!

Have you ever heard these words from your child?

"You don't love me!"
"You hate me!"
"You want me to cry because you don't care!"

Sound familiar?

Have you ever just wanted to scream, "That's right, I hate you, that's why I've got these damn stretch marks all over my belly. I hated you so much I just had to carry you around in my belly for 9 months, gaining pound after pound after pound."

I have a friend whose first pregnancy was twins, in her last month or so she had to go down and get steroid shots in her rear end, because the babies lungs weren't developed enough.

With my last child I went for nearly six weeks with him 'dropped.' He was literally laying on my pelvic bone (from the inside) for a month and a half.

I have another friend who was bed ridden nearly the entirety of her pregnancy because her body wanted to kick the baby out.

Do kids have any concept of what it is that we do for them, why we love them? No, they don't. It's this vicious cycle of sacrifice.

You sacrifice they take.

So some days I want to say;
"Oh, and these thighs, they used to be SMALL, I used to be able to fit into a size 8. I used to wear a push up bra to accentuate. I used to be able to turn heads with this rear.

Your right to question my love over that toy. I've only cooked every meal for the last 6 years because I wanted you to be certain that your worth was based on a $15 barbie.

I've only scrubbed vomit, poop, pee, and blood off my floors because I wanted you to know just how much I didn't love you.

And don't even get me started on how much I don't love you after that delivery. I've had stitches in places that would make your cringe, lets not talk about what it's like to push a 7lb life through a... well you'll know soon enough. The day will come when you know just exactly how much I DO love you.

You'll know, believe me, when you stare at that figure in the mirror one day, when you see those bright red marks running higgledy-piggledy across your belly. When your stomach hangs to your knees and you finally understand why women wore corsets, or when you walk past those strapless dresses and miniskirts without batting an eye you'll understand.

So go ahead kid, scream about how much I don't love you, but do it in your room I've got a house to clean, a dinner to cook, a diaper to change and a list of school supplies to buy. Go scream in there for awhile. I'm busy showing you I do love you."


Lisa said…
Amen. Amen.

Love the comment about how a bra used to accentuate. Now it's just needed to look normal again. Ah... I never had much to begin with, but at least I had something.
TerĂ©sa said…
Aww.. too cute. I loved it.
The Paynes said…
Ahh! That's so me with the twins and steroids. Talk about a sting! Don't forget walking and rocking to sleep for hours. Love your post!

Popular posts from this blog

Altered Shoe Art: Ring Holder Shoe Tutorial

This was my week two craft for So You Think You're Crafty. I placed third that week for this one. I thought you might enjoy finding out how I made it.

I tried about a million different decorations before settling on one that didn't drown out my rings. I wanted them to the focal point. This is also why I went with black fabric and not something more vivid.

Don't be intimidated by the lack of 101 I'm giving you. It really is a straight forward sort of project. If you know how to use a glue gun without burning yourself you can do this. Just be sure to dust off your imaginative brain space first. :)

The one important thing you might be wondering is how I got the pink fabric to stick to the shoe. I really just Mod Podged it on.

There are several different ways to make ring tubes that you can find online. One I saw used that colored foam paper stuff that you find in the kids craft section. I thought that might have been easier, but I had scraps of batting lying around so I …

How-To Pretend You Work For Anthropologie

The problem with Anthropologie is that they cost way too much money. WAY TOO MUCH! I mean, come on--these book boxes:

Cost $68-$188!

Do you have that kind of money?

I don't, but you know what I do have? I have a library with a cart full of free books that no one really cares about! So guess what I did... I made my own (and then I gave them away because I really don't have anywhere to put them).

Here's how.

What do you think?

Mutterings of a Middle-Aged Dreamer

Use your words, my dear sweet soul, they are inside of you... So find them. Write, you silly girl, write so hard the world will never forget you.
But does it matter if the world remembers you? 
Age begins to press its hands upon your chest and the need to be remembered seems to increase with the pressure. 
That's not a line of thought you're interested in pursuing. 
Live in the now.
Does it matter if the world remembers you if your neighbor is going hungry? 
Perhaps age is merely pushing you out the door. 
Go. Live in the now.