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Two Steps Forward and One Step Back

Life around here has been plugging along at an exciting, uniquely cannwinesque pace.

Case in point:

Nothing in my house goes normally, nothing. Potty training included. I've got this little one whose bound and determined to be a big boy, but is scared to death of having a bowel movement on the toilet. So what happens when a naked boy won't use the bathroom for #2's? Well, you can guess.

On Sunday night I was sitting around with a friend of ours waiting for the other expected members of our little game group to show up when my 6 year old popped his head out of the bedroom door and a discussion about what is really important at 8PM in the life of a munchkin ensued. Finally in exasperation the boy child exclaimed:

"MOM! The baby went stink!" (remember no diapers)

"Ugh, okay, okay I'm coming." I said, cringing at what I was about to find.

"And then he threw his poop at me."

"What! UUUUGH!"

By now my guest is starting to chuckle slightly. I smiled, excused myself and then grabbed the munckin man's arm and began tugging him back to his room.

That's when he dropped the nuke.

"So I threw it back."

(my guest bursts out laughing--he doesn't have kids)

"WHAT!" I nearly sob.

"Well it's gross and I don't want it in my bed."

"We never, ever, ever! throw poop, okay?"

"Okay, mom."

You can imagine the rest of the story. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't fun. And I've decided I'm pulling up the carpet in the boys room (as it is a dark brown shag).

But it get's better!

If that weren't enough for one evening, my dear daughter, who for years has had a problem with constipation (since she switched to solid foods) decided that 9PM was a good time to have issues. So there we are, sitting around playing 'Settler's of Cataan' when the wailing begins anew. This time from the bathroom.

"MOOOOOOOOOOM! It won't come out, it's never going to come out!"

Five minutes later the 6 year old pops up again.

"Mom," he says, holding up an ominously shaped object, "I found some more."

I think I might have screamed at that point, and perhaps Ralexwin spotted my nearing hysteria because he stepped in and within 15 minutes the house was silent. No screeching daughter, no wild boys. Just blissful, blessed, normal silence.

I am, however, a little worried that our guests have decided against having children.


Claire Wessel said…
Yeah, that was kinda horrifying. I don't think I'll be sharing this story with my husband. I'm trying to convince him that we should try to potty train Rejeanne and he's already lookin' nervous. I'm glad you shared it though because it will be funny to you in a couple years :)
Dan and Kaz said…
A few years ago I spent a good two hours scrubbing my bathroom. We had just finished training Kadrey and she was still learning the finale stages (ei...wiping, flushing,and hand washing) Jaxon was now mobile and after she finished without flushing Jax got into the potty and smeared "you know" all over the bathroom. Oh boy what a day that was. AAAHHHHH.
Oh the joys of little ones :)Nothing ever gets boring. Your stories are so funny- you make me laugh :)
Anonymous said…
I read this to my family and their cousins yesterday. The kids loved the story. They laughed about it.
Jessica Bair said…
This must be the post you were talking about on game night. It's pretty funny. What would prompt a child to throw the poop back? Yuck. We've had poop stories at our house too.
Jackie said…
Wow. I'm speechless. YUCK.

Where do kids get this. That's so funny! (Funny because it wasn't me)

Let's hope I never have to do that :)

Thanks for sharing!
Cannwin said…
yeah, it was pretty bad. Thankfully he is the only one of my children that has done that, I've heard horror stories that make me grateful for that day. :)

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