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Overheard's

Do you really want to brag about that?

Man in restaurant: 'I didn't know how to count to ten until I was in first grade.'

Old, toothless neighbor: 'I've been to jail 119 times!'


Love you too.

Christmas Eve with family: 'Oh, thankyou dear... I wasn't supposed to get you anything was I?'

Cold feet to close friend: 'Were you nervous when you got married?'

'Well sure, everyone is a little.'

'So nervous that every time you thought about it you felt you might throw up?'


Two birds with one stone- also known as insult everyone at once.

Sisters discussing Medicaid: 'People on govt help shouldn't be allowed to have babies.'

*awkward silence*

'You do realize I've had three children while on govt insurance, right?'

'Well that's different.'

Man (who shall remain unidentified): 'It's weird how one sister got all the looks and the other all the brains.'


Can you repeat that?

Woman to brother: 'What do you mean Dad's remarried!?'

Neighbor to neighbor: 'When you said your dog was dead I thought you'd said she'd gone to bed.'

Comments

Ivy said…
ha ha so funny. love the guys in the resturaunt.
Lisa said…
That's awesome! Cracked me up.

Whoa, your having a baby in 34 days!

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What do you think?

Mutterings of a Middle-Aged Dreamer

Use your words, my dear sweet soul, they are inside of you... So find them. Write, you silly girl, write so hard the world will never forget you.
But does it matter if the world remembers you? 
Age begins to press its hands upon your chest and the need to be remembered seems to increase with the pressure. 
Stop.
That's not a line of thought you're interested in pursuing. 
Live in the now.
Does it matter if the world remembers you if your neighbor is going hungry? 
Perhaps age is merely pushing you out the door. 
Go. Live in the now.