Skip to main content


Do you really want to brag about that?

Man in restaurant: 'I didn't know how to count to ten until I was in first grade.'

Old, toothless neighbor: 'I've been to jail 119 times!'

Love you too.

Christmas Eve with family: 'Oh, thankyou dear... I wasn't supposed to get you anything was I?'

Cold feet to close friend: 'Were you nervous when you got married?'

'Well sure, everyone is a little.'

'So nervous that every time you thought about it you felt you might throw up?'

Two birds with one stone- also known as insult everyone at once.

Sisters discussing Medicaid: 'People on govt help shouldn't be allowed to have babies.'

*awkward silence*

'You do realize I've had three children while on govt insurance, right?'

'Well that's different.'

Man (who shall remain unidentified): 'It's weird how one sister got all the looks and the other all the brains.'

Can you repeat that?

Woman to brother: 'What do you mean Dad's remarried!?'

Neighbor to neighbor: 'When you said your dog was dead I thought you'd said she'd gone to bed.'


Ivy said…
ha ha so funny. love the guys in the resturaunt.
Lisa said…
That's awesome! Cracked me up.

Whoa, your having a baby in 34 days!

Popular posts from this blog

Altered Shoe Art: Ring Holder Shoe Tutorial

This was my week two craft for So You Think You're Crafty. I placed third that week for this one. I thought you might enjoy finding out how I made it.

I tried about a million different decorations before settling on one that didn't drown out my rings. I wanted them to the focal point. This is also why I went with black fabric and not something more vivid.

Don't be intimidated by the lack of 101 I'm giving you. It really is a straight forward sort of project. If you know how to use a glue gun without burning yourself you can do this. Just be sure to dust off your imaginative brain space first. :)

The one important thing you might be wondering is how I got the pink fabric to stick to the shoe. I really just Mod Podged it on.

There are several different ways to make ring tubes that you can find online. One I saw used that colored foam paper stuff that you find in the kids craft section. I thought that might have been easier, but I had scraps of batting lying around so I …

How-To Pretend You Work For Anthropologie

The problem with Anthropologie is that they cost way too much money. WAY TOO MUCH! I mean, come on--these book boxes:

Cost $68-$188!

Do you have that kind of money?

I don't, but you know what I do have? I have a library with a cart full of free books that no one really cares about! So guess what I did... I made my own (and then I gave them away because I really don't have anywhere to put them).

Here's how.

What do you think?

I Am A Phoenix

This is a drawing I did right after my divorce, when I was trying to discover my life's course and who I was as a person. Divorce is this horrendously nasty thing that leaves a person with little to nothing of who they were before (at least that's how it was for me). My family was gone, at one point I had counted up blood/legal relatives that had stopped talking to me and it was nearly 60. Things were bad, but one of the recurring comments I heard from other divorcee's was 'Get bitter, or get better.' So I aimed for better. I came up with my own personal code of conduct (Quiet Dignity) and my own personal motto.

The motto the drawing is based off of is: 
"I am a Phoenix. I was born for the fire and I will rise from the ashes."
But, that's not all. Each aspect of the drawing has meaning. I researched these... so I hope I got them right. lol
I chose to make my image reminiscent of a mandala with the most significant parts at the very center. The shape i…