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Boy Oh Boy

Do you know the story of Esther in the Bible? About the edict to annihilate the Jews and how Esther stops it?

Well, Esther has this uncle, Mordecai, and when he discovers that his people have been slotted for destruction he goes before the gates of the palace and tears his clothes, puts ash all over his body and wails.

Sometimes I feel like doing that.

Sometimes I feel like pulling a Brittany Spears and shaving off all my hair.

Sometimes I feel like forgoing all pretenses and just ripping my hair out--this morning would be one of those times.

This morning when I woke to my Mischievite handing me a band-aid for his ouch. The band aid from the medicine box that sits on the microwave that is hanging from the top of the counter in the middle of the kitchen.

This morning when I rolled over to open the band aid (not thinking about why he might need one) and took a big sniff of the air around me. It didn't take long to notice the difference, the burning wax smell that was wafting into my room.

So how do you suppose I reacted? Taking into account that my 2 year old is who he is and does all the crazy things you've read about?

It's quite simple really.

"Did you put something on the fireplace!?" I sat bolt upright in bed. "Iyawin! You answer me NOW!"

"Yes, mama."

"Is that why you need a band aid!? Because you burnt your finger?!"

"Yes, mama."

"AAAAAH!"

So there I am in my night time attire bolting across the house to where the fireplace is.

(This is where the ashes and cloth rending comes in.)

I make it into the family room, see a bunch of paper leaning nicely against the stove and melted plastic covering its top AND the Mischievite's older brother sitting comfortably two feet away playing on the computer.

I lost it. I yelled and the full Mom mode came out.*

"TURN THAT OFF!"

I layed into him. Layed in hard.

"When you and Iyawin are awake he is YOUR responsibility. And I KNOW you are smart enough to understand that putting things on the fireplace is bad, but you were to busy playing on that computer to stop him or come tell me! THE HOUSE COULD HAVE GONE UP IN FLAMES BEHIND YOU AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE FLINCHED!!!!!"

I was pretty dang mad. I was livid.

What can you expect? I was inhaling toxic fumes.

Albowin looked penitent. Iyawin was in tears. I took a deep breath and told Albowin to go get dressed. He shuffled down the hall, past his sisters' room (where both girls were still asleep) to his own and then, as if he was testing my resolve, he hollered:

"Mom! I need my light on!"

Yep, you thought I was mad before... I actually swore at this point. (Remember I'm still in my PJ's). Which I'm sure was the real reason the girls woke up, but we won't mention that to anyone, okay.

Ten minutes later Ralexwin comes home from his run and finds me in my bath robe sitting in the front room with a scowl on my face.

"What is that smell?" He asks. Then he pauses to think, "Iyawin?"

I nod. "He put a plastic bag on the stove and Albowin practically helped."

Ralexwin groans.

I nod again.

"If it's not one thing, it's another with that one."

"You're telling me."

So fine blogging friends, when next week you see on the national news that a family burnt to death in their own home after succumbing to toxic fumes, you'll know I won't be posting anytime soon.



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*It's worth noting that Albowin had been attempting to play on the computer since 4 AM (I had unplugged it...that's another blog) and his dad must have replugged it in for him.

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