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Mommies Anonymous

I've decided a few things this last week, mainly concerning motherhood...or more appropriately my motherhood.

We as women are raised to believe that we are all natural mothers. It's in our nature to just know how to do this. It's in our nature to be good at it.

Well... I've got something to say on that matter. I AM NOT GOOD AT THIS!

In fact, I find it ridiculous to assume that because I'm a woman I should be good at this.

I'm a bit perturbed at the notion that I was born to change poopy diapers. I'm angry that anyone would assume I was born to clean up after others.

Furthermore men are taught that if a woman loves them they show it by having a clean house and clean children.


I rarely have a clean house and am less likely to have clean kids. My bathroom smells like pee. My bedroom smells like dirty diapers. My baby is more likely to eat a wrapper off the floor than she is to eat a cheerio off her high chair tray.

Dinner is rarely served with side-dishes (if it's served at all) and I can guarantee you that I do not look like a fox every day at 5 PM.

When my children scream at me or tell me (in that sassy, disrespectful tone) "I don't care." I have a hard time not holding it against them.

I am NOT perfect, I was NOT born that way, and I am most definitely NOT a natural at this mothering thing.

And so help me--I am sick of feeling guilty for being less than perfect.

On a scale of 1-10. Ten being the best mother EVER I fall roughly around a 5.

I don't beat my kids, but I do yell at them. I don't starve my kids, but I do forget to feed them sometimes. I don't neglect them, but I do tell them to leave me alone while I read.

I don't sit around every Saturday making kids crafts, but I do play games with them. I don't smile every morning when they elbow their way into my bed, but I do give them kisses everyday. I don't look forward to spring break like it's the next best thing to Christmas, but I do look forward to the weekend with them.

So there. Take that. I am a human being! Prone to selfish behavior and grudges and just because I have ovaries does not change that.


Evelyn Perkins said…
Hallelujah! There ARE other mothers out there like me. From the pee-smelling bathroom to the leave me alones. Thanks for telling it like it is.
Jennifer said…
I honestly believe that it would be bad for our children if we were to try to conform to the idea of the "perfect" mother. That sort of flawless perfection would set our children an example that they can never and should never try to live up to.

In my opinion, the ideal mother has flaws. She tries hard, she cares about what she is doing, but she is human. From her example, her children learn that the important thing in life is to try, even more than to succeed. Real people get tired and irritable. Real people need time alone. Real people don't tend to get excited about changing dirty diapers.

I don't want my kids to beat themselves up for not being perfect. I want them to know that they can make mistakes and the world won't come to an end. I want them to learn how to fall down, pick themselves up and try again. I'm the best way for them to learn that. So, yeah, I'm not perfect. (I have a lot of room for improvement in fact!) I'm not excusing myself, and I don't think it's OK to remain where I am, but I do think my children learn valuable lessons from seeing my imperfections and seeing me trying to improve myself.

So hooray for all us imperfect mothers! We're exactly what our children need.
Tammy said…
The perfect mommy is the imperfect one. I tried when my two oldest were little and it just isn't realistic. In exchange, I have healthy and independent children that I am proud of.
Amy said…
Ah, the bathroom that smells like Pee. Me too. My mom told me that her mother once told her that all through the raising her children stage she thought she was a terrible housewife. And then when all her kids grew up and moved out she realized that she wasn't a terrible housewife, she just had really messy kids. LOL
Matt and LeMira said…
My life has been much "freer" since I told myself that I am a mother, I love that I am a mother, but I'm not perfect at it. Unfortunately, I think that with ovaries come estrogen AND guilt.
cannwin said…
Oh that we could have children and be ovary-less at the same time.

Or better yet, just non-hormonal

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