Mommies Anonymous
I've decided a few things this last week, mainly concerning motherhood...or more appropriately my motherhood.
We as women are raised to believe that we are all natural mothers. It's in our nature to just know how to do this. It's in our nature to be good at it.
Well... I've got something to say on that matter. I AM NOT GOOD AT THIS!
In fact, I find it ridiculous to assume that because I'm a woman I should be good at this.
I'm a bit perturbed at the notion that I was born to change poopy diapers. I'm angry that anyone would assume I was born to clean up after others.
Furthermore men are taught that if a woman loves them they show it by having a clean house and clean children.
Ha!
I rarely have a clean house and am less likely to have clean kids. My bathroom smells like pee. My bedroom smells like dirty diapers. My baby is more likely to eat a wrapper off the floor than she is to eat a cheerio off her high chair tray.
Dinner is rarely served with side-dishes (if it's served at all) and I can guarantee you that I do not look like a fox every day at 5 PM.
When my children scream at me or tell me (in that sassy, disrespectful tone) "I don't care." I have a hard time not holding it against them.
I am NOT perfect, I was NOT born that way, and I am most definitely NOT a natural at this mothering thing.
And so help me--I am sick of feeling guilty for being less than perfect.
On a scale of 1-10. Ten being the best mother EVER I fall roughly around a 5.
I don't beat my kids, but I do yell at them. I don't starve my kids, but I do forget to feed them sometimes. I don't neglect them, but I do tell them to leave me alone while I read.
I don't sit around every Saturday making kids crafts, but I do play games with them. I don't smile every morning when they elbow their way into my bed, but I do give them kisses everyday. I don't look forward to spring break like it's the next best thing to Christmas, but I do look forward to the weekend with them.
So there. Take that. I am a human being! Prone to selfish behavior and grudges and just because I have ovaries does not change that.
We as women are raised to believe that we are all natural mothers. It's in our nature to just know how to do this. It's in our nature to be good at it.
Well... I've got something to say on that matter. I AM NOT GOOD AT THIS!
In fact, I find it ridiculous to assume that because I'm a woman I should be good at this.
I'm a bit perturbed at the notion that I was born to change poopy diapers. I'm angry that anyone would assume I was born to clean up after others.
Furthermore men are taught that if a woman loves them they show it by having a clean house and clean children.
Ha!
I rarely have a clean house and am less likely to have clean kids. My bathroom smells like pee. My bedroom smells like dirty diapers. My baby is more likely to eat a wrapper off the floor than she is to eat a cheerio off her high chair tray.
Dinner is rarely served with side-dishes (if it's served at all) and I can guarantee you that I do not look like a fox every day at 5 PM.
When my children scream at me or tell me (in that sassy, disrespectful tone) "I don't care." I have a hard time not holding it against them.
I am NOT perfect, I was NOT born that way, and I am most definitely NOT a natural at this mothering thing.
And so help me--I am sick of feeling guilty for being less than perfect.
On a scale of 1-10. Ten being the best mother EVER I fall roughly around a 5.
I don't beat my kids, but I do yell at them. I don't starve my kids, but I do forget to feed them sometimes. I don't neglect them, but I do tell them to leave me alone while I read.
I don't sit around every Saturday making kids crafts, but I do play games with them. I don't smile every morning when they elbow their way into my bed, but I do give them kisses everyday. I don't look forward to spring break like it's the next best thing to Christmas, but I do look forward to the weekend with them.
So there. Take that. I am a human being! Prone to selfish behavior and grudges and just because I have ovaries does not change that.
Comments
In my opinion, the ideal mother has flaws. She tries hard, she cares about what she is doing, but she is human. From her example, her children learn that the important thing in life is to try, even more than to succeed. Real people get tired and irritable. Real people need time alone. Real people don't tend to get excited about changing dirty diapers.
I don't want my kids to beat themselves up for not being perfect. I want them to know that they can make mistakes and the world won't come to an end. I want them to learn how to fall down, pick themselves up and try again. I'm the best way for them to learn that. So, yeah, I'm not perfect. (I have a lot of room for improvement in fact!) I'm not excusing myself, and I don't think it's OK to remain where I am, but I do think my children learn valuable lessons from seeing my imperfections and seeing me trying to improve myself.
So hooray for all us imperfect mothers! We're exactly what our children need.
Or better yet, just non-hormonal