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On Sleeping

My sister once told me about a study that was done regarding the sleeping habits of married couples and the strength of their relationships.

I've always found the study to be slightly humorous and often wondered whether or not children and life were taken into account when the study was done.

In my opinion there are just too many complexities in life to break down a relationship into how one sleeps next to their spouse.

Take us for example.

Ralexwin snores when he's on his back, so I rarely sleep with my head on his chest.

I love to sleep on my belly, so cuddling up into my husbands side means I have a hard time falling asleep.

Ralexwin is like Jacob from Twilight... he's always hot! Sleeping curled up with him is like putting myself in an oven and trying to doze off. (It might be noted that this is a nice thing in the winter)

I toss and turn, Ralexwin sleeps very still.

I have to have one leg out of the covers, Ralexwin is fine the way he lands.

I also have a gimp knee that constantly aches and I have to sleep with it slightly bent or I feel like it's going to hyper extend (try sleeping with that sensation).

What we generally end up with is a husband and wife who look roughly like an O and an I (me being the O) in our king sized bed.

Now lets add some children. The Mischievite climbs into our bed every night making our OI more of an OoI.

Then Remewin will wake up to nurse. That makes our bed an iOoI and then ten minutes later an OioI.

Not much room for snuggling spouses and according to the study (via my sister) this means our relationship is doomed.

Something we don't want to happen! So what do we do to keep the love alive as we sleep?

We touch feet.

It seems silly, but at night when it's the only thing of my husband I can find I wrap my foot around his and he reciprocates. It's nice to know he's nearby even if all I can feel is his toes.

So how do you sleep? What size bed do you have?

I've heard that Queen Victoria and Prince Albert always slept in a double sized bed so that they could be as close as possible to each other. With 9 children I'm going to have to give them kudo's for keeping the love alive. Then again, she was the queen, I'm sure she had nursemaids and nurseries and the like. ::sigh::

(image from here)


TerĂ©sa said…
Hmmm... J and I are about the same. He's always hot, and I'm always cold, so you would think we cuddle and balance each-other out? Not so much. I'm too cold for his hotness. He says, "I love you, but get your cold -enter extremity here- off me". :) I guess we are doomed too. lol
Giggles said…
We've decided that our piece of marriage advice is to get married in the winter when it's cold to make it easier to get used to sleeping with each other.

I've seen that same study. It also doesn't take into account years of sleeping alone and getting used to facing a certain direction or sleeping on a certain side of the bed. I have to sleep on my left (bad right hip) and he has to sleep on his right. It's just what we're used to. But then add in that I also have to sleep on the left side of the bed, and then we're sleeping back to back. But we're both getting a good night's sleep so we're not cranky. And that has to count for something.
Erin Wallace said…
We slept in a double until I got pregnant with our youngest - then I didnt fit anymore! We got a hand me down queen from my in-laws. Tim twitches, is always hot, and has been known to hit in his sleep (read this to find out more). I am very still, want covers up to my ears, and cannot fall asleep without it being dark and quiet. So thats our story.

xo Erin
Cari Hislop said…
Ten years ago we invested in an expensive five foot six inch wide mattress, but it isn't working for us. I toss and turn, get up numerous times in the night and often go to bed hours after he's fallen asleep (likely contributing to his clinical depression). We're now planning to buy a couple of twin beds (I can hear marriage counselors ringing bells at that). Our usual habits will continue only we'll sleep in separate beds where I'll be able to toss and turn with glee under my preferred tent of light bedding while he lies at peace under his perfectly flat preferably tight bedding without ending up seasick or awoken 5-10 times in the night. It'll be good.

This mentality that happily married people must sleep in the same bed or even room is just an American social norm. If you look at other cultures you soon find 'the norm' is or has been very different over the centuries. Why do we get bogged down in what everyone else thinks we should be doing? Couples should find what works best for them and then do it. Some married couples prefer to live in separate houses and though I wouldn't want to, I can understand why some would. To each their own!
Cannwin said…
Your own beds!? Cari you are an oddball ;) I have visions of black and white tv shows. Are you going to wear a night dress to bed?


If I were to have my own bed it would have to be a double at least. That's how much space I take up.

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