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The Agony of Defeat

View from the ground.
Have you ever fallen down as an adult?

I have... frequently.

In  fact I did just yesterday, and as always it was quite embarrassing.

You see, the kids didn't have school yesterday (parent teacher conferences) so we took the chance to head over to the park for a little fresh air and playtime. Remewin was out there running around with the best of them while I chatted with some of the other park-moms.

Things were going well. The air was crisp with only a small bite to it. The leaves were falling gently to the ground. Remewin was climbing to the top of the slide. The grass was green.


I sat up. My 15 month old was nearly to the top.

I hurried over to the play set while the other mothers moved on.

"Baby." I said in that sweet, gentle mother's voice, "You can't be climbing up here by yourself. Did you want to go down the slide?"

Being the wonderful mom that I am, I gently placed her on my lap and sat at the tip-top of that long straight fall to the ground.

"I hate slides." I muttered to myself as my other three kids crowded around me.

"You're going to go down the slide?!" They asked, excited (I don't usually participate in the play).

"Yep." I breathed. "Have I ever told you why I don't like slides?"

"Yes, Mom." They chimed in that tone that suggest I've told them one to many times.

So I did what anyone would do at the top of a slide. I let go.

To say that I slid would be an understatement. I rocketed. I broke the sound barrier. I may have passed the speed of light.

Remewin did not like it and by the time we hit the bottom of the slide (0.3 seconds later) she was protesting vocally.

Except what neither of us knew in that moment was that the ride wasn't over.


Have Remewin in my arms cause me to careen forward. My feet landed soundly on the ground but my upper body kept going. I took a quick few shuffling steps to try to compensate.

It didn't work, so I took a few more.

Pretty soon I was running pell-mell across the grass like a charging bull. My legs weren't offsetting the extra thirty pounds in my arms but they were sure trying.

My mind was racing. Okay, at some point I'm going to have to land. How do I do this without hurting Remewin. What are my options. Why can't my stupid legs move faster.

Eventually I hit ground.


I'm not sure how I managed it but I set Remewin down gently next to me as I skidded to a grand and painful halt and rolled onto my back.


In seconds the kids were above me laughing.

"Mom, that was so funny!"

"Wow. Why did you keep going?"

"Mom, you so silly."

I grabbed my startled Remewin into my arms and cuddled her and laughed. "Did we fall down!?" I giggled. Remewin wasn't sure what to make of it all, so she just went along with everyone's smiles.

Still laying on the ground (splayed out like a dead man) I wondered if the other mom's had seen my not so graceful demise. They probably did... it always works that way.

I sat up. I had grass stains on my favorite pair of jeans that ran from my shins all the way to my knee's. My ankle was aching, my knee was aching (yes... the gimp knee even). I looked around and laughed a bit hysterically.

I was about 2 yards away from the slide.

The stupid thing had rocketed me.

The kids were still laughing and replaying the whole event. I smiled at them and laughed, all the while knowing I was going to pay for my mishap in the morning.

And that's the truth--falling down as an adult never goes well. I don't know if it's because we're just so much heavier, or if it's because we're further off the ground. Maybe it's because we're out of shape or our bones aren't as supple... whatever it is the truth is that when I woke up this morning my left side ached from neck to ankle.

Forgotten as the event is in the minds of my kids, I'm still here paying the price.

And I'm still wondering if those other mom's saw me--because, somehow, that would make it all so much worse.


Anonymous said…
It's so funny that the first thing the kids did was laugh. You've certainly taught them to have a sense of humor. Good job. Always better to laugh than to cry,right.?
Saimi said…
You may have felt clumsy but you handled it with grace! Well done!
Polly Blevins said…
That is the one thing, as an adult, even if you do see it, you pretend you didn't. Hopefully that will help take out the sting from the fallee. I always look the other way and pretend that I didn't even notice. Which can be hard because sometime, like your kids, I really want to laugh.
Lisa said…
You are an AWESOME mom! I can't believe you went up to the top of the slide! I would have pulled the baby down or grabbed an older sibling to take her down! But thanks for the giggle. Good to know that we aren't alone in our clumsiness moments!
woot woot to you!!! that was the best fall ever!! you rocket mom! (the best part? you splayed down like a dead!) don't you worry if the other moms saw you! you ROCK!!!!!!!
Lazarus said…
Very funny and very well written. I particularly liked the line about the day having "a bite" to it. Great descriptions, keep up the terrific writing!
Charlotte said…
I slipped and fell on a crayon last Sunday. I'm still sore down my entire right side. I guess that means I should avoid the slides from now on. Thanks for the heads up!

(and congrats on the baby safe landing!)
Cannwin said…
A crayon! Were there any witnesses? That's one I would surely end up doing in front of my husbands entire family and then not be able to live down for the next 20 years.
Myya said…
I hope you aren't hurting too much from your rocket trip. The best thing though is that all your kids really will remember is how much fun they had & how hard they laughed when you were playing with them at the park :)

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