I miss being able to ease my morning grumpiness away with cuddles on the couch and kisses on the cheeks. The days where I could while away my mornings with the cozy warmth of my babies wrapped in my arms.
Now when I wake up grouchy it's only exacerbated by the shouting and the threatening and the whining and arguing until my orneriness has quadrupled in size. Now I get mornings where I send my kids off for their day feeling bad about all the negative things I've left planted in their little brains and I wish for the days when they were still all mine to hold and love and adore.
But now my life is 'clean your room!' and 'flush the toilet' and 'stop yelling at him.'
I really, really miss my cuddle bugs and I can't, for the life of me, figure out how to get them back.