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Culinary Thievery

What mom?
I am in a foul mood. Last night the last idea that crossed my mind is that it seemed like life was all about waking up and waiting for the day to go by. That's not what I particularly think, it was more of a 'break things down until you've seriously made the world look wretched' sort of thought, but it was the last one I had before tumbling into the dream world.

Needless to say I tossed and turned all night.

Then this morning I wake to discover that my two angel boys ::note thick sarcasm:: had eaten 24 Pop Tarts between themselves during the night.


That's 4800 calories! Not to mention that one of those boxes of Pop Tarts was branded fudge and had been purchased specifically for my own midnight indulgences (at an admittedly slower pace too).

Now this is the part where a good mom would scold her kids and move on, but I honestly don't know what to do with my children. They are food hoarders and it makes me INSANE. I just can't ever seem to drop it because when I find empty boxes of Cheez-its hidden in closets or Worther's Original wrappers stuffed into couches I go NUTS.

"Stop eating everything!!!!!"

I'm probably the only mom in the world whose been known to scream that at their children.

So, I just couldn't drop the Pop-Tarts thing. I just couldn't. I sat there and simmered about it the entire time they were getting ready for school. I sat there and thought about how I had just bought those things yesterday. How I typically don't buy them and how I am NEVER EVER EVER BUYING THEM AGAIN.

The way my children act around snack foods you'd think I never bought them, but I do buy them...more often than I'd like... and I regret it each and every time.

Then Vicbowin says to me, "Well, next time just hide them."

This made me even more angry. Why should I have to hide food in my own house? Seriously? Am I not the parent? Am I not the purchaser of the goods? Why, oh why, then, should I need to hide what I buy? Maybe my kids should just STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN!

I had all these grand ideas of how I was going to be a great mother who only ever had apples as a choice for sweetness. Instead I've turned into a sulky 30 year old whose miffed because her kids ate her treats.

Which of course, makes me grumpier.

It's a downward spiral and I think I'd rather go back to sleep and try the waking up thing again. Maybe the second time will be better than the first?


Sarah said…
I remember this being a problem back when I was young (it must be something about that house!!) One morning we woke up to find an entire crock-pot of smothered steak gone. And now, I have to admit to getting a little peevish when my husband devours certain foods that, when purchased, I'd imagined gobbling every last crumb of. I don't think there's anything wrong with designating a specific food item as "yours" and hiding it. Maybe the kitchen should be considered the "front lines" -- anything there is expendable. (Bad metaphor for an army wife? Sorry.)
Kaz said…
My kids so the same thing (kinda) and I drives me crazy. Dan always thinks I am being "weird" about food - but they think Ice Cream is a must every night and cry when they dont get any and ever time Kadrey has a treat she scarfs that thing down like she as not eaten in a month all the while moaning and making sounds not always associated with good food, sounds an 8 yr old should not make:)
Cannwin said…
@ Sarah,

Totally okay metaphor, it makes it more vivid for me and is a good approach.

But steak, really? If my kids scarfed down a steak I'd be totally okay with that. :)


Oh! Vicbowin does that too, where she moans like she's discovered Herbal Essence Shampoo or something. I usually snap at her when she does that. Seriously, no one should get that much pleasure from food. No one.
Jessica Bair said…
Being the mean mom that I am, I'd lock up the computer, movies, toys and anything else they enjoy....make them suffer. Then they'd only get healthy food for a week or go hungry.
Gr8Life said…
So I guess you didn't have to make them breakfast? or were they still hungry after that?
That is a lot of calories for a late night snack.
Only I am allowed to snack like that in my house. My kids like to tell me before they leave for school "Mom don't eat all the ______ (you fill in the blank) because I want some when I get home from school."
Silly kids that's the prerogative of every stay at home parent. Someday it will be theirs.
Cannwin said…

Haha, my husband tells me not to eat all the ____ while he's gone. I say 'Then you should have eaten it when you were home.'

As for breakfast, I can't remember. I was so busy simmering that I don't think I actually helped them get ready. :)


That never seems to work in my house. What do you do when you ground kids from the computer and they respond by saying, "Good, I wanted some time away from it."

That is how my kids are.
Jessica Bair said…
I tell them "good, you'll have a LOT of time away from it". Call their bluff. They might be fine with no electronics for a few days but after that they'll start begging. Every time they ask, remind them why they are grounded from it.

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