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I Am The One

POST WARNING: If you know me personally this post is about to rock your world so either don't read or sit down.

“It takes two people to speak the truth: One to speak and another to hear.” – Henry David Thoreau

We've all been in on a class or discussion where at some point the teacher points out that 1 in x number of people will have such and such a thing occur in their life. Have you ever been in a situation where the instructor makes ten people stand up and says "One of you will have ________ experience." (I have no clue where to put the question mark in that sentence... so lets just pretend it's there).

Some of the more common statistics out there are things like:

1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer in her lifetime.
Cigarette smoking causes 1 in 5 deaths in the United States.
1 in 3 children are now considered obese.

Well, there's some other statistics that you might not know about. Some that are a little more shocking. Like:

1 in 4 women will be the victims of domestic violence in their lifetime.
1 in 6 women have experienced rape or attempted rape in their lifetime.
1 in 12 women have been stalked in their lifetime.

Do you understand what that means?

That means that if you and I and two, or four or ten, other women (assuming we're all women, if you're a guy...imagine a girl you know) stood up in a group, one of us has been abused.

So, we would stand there and look at each other and inevitably someone would comment on how unlikely that was and the others would chuckle... because it's the sort of thing that makes us all extremely uncomfortable. But one of us would be chuckling to cover up the ugly truth.

Well... guess what.... I am the one.

Yep. Me. Little old Cannwin that talks about all the happy, silly, crazy things her kids do and chuckles about her marriage.

I fit all three of those bottom statistics.

I am a victim of domestic violence.

I am a victim of rape.

I am a victim of a crazy psycho stalker dude.

And I am as impossible to pick out of a crowd as any of the other ones are. In fact, I'm confident that at least one of you reading this knows exactly how I'm feeling about writing this.

That's all I want to say about it for now.... since I just dropped a MASSIVE bomb on my family and friends.

Feel free to leave comments--anonymous is fine--but I'd appreciate it if there wasn't a mass influx of phone calls to my house. If you feel like you need to talk to me personally email me (sidebar) and I'll respond.

NOTE: Ralexwin is not the bad guy in any of those situations. He's my advocate, my strong arm, my supporter and he knows all about it.

If you know or suspect abuse... or are the victim of abuse... you can get help!
Call 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)


Anonymous said…
WOW, hon. I applaud your courage to share this. Talk about reaching out to your fellow sister. I know that by sharing this post, you are helping someone somewhere. Good for you!
Claire Wessel said…
I suppose it is bad that I had already assumed this about you just by virtue of us being able to connect. Saying it out loud the first time is the hardest part, but it is necessary to regain your sense of power.

There is a statistic out that that 1 of 3 girls will be raped or molested before they turn 18. There is another statistic that fully half of rapes and molestations go unreported. If you put the two together, does that mean 2 of 3 girls have this experience?

I love ya, Ms. C. And for me, this was not even a ripple, much less a bomb, because of our friendship and that I know how common these experiences are among women. So, nothing changes, it's still the same, the world did not end, and you are brave. <3
Amy said…
Thanks for posting this. I am the mother of "a" one. My daughter was molested when she was younger. it needs to be talked about more and have the stigma removed from it. (((hugs)))
Gr8Life said…
That was brave of you to share.
I know so many times when we are with our friends or family members or at church with people we think or assume that we know everything about them.
It just goes to show you never know people like you think you do.
It makes me want to try harder not assume I know enough about someone to make judgements about them or the choices they might make.
I Think many times we never know what demons are haunting the people we think we know best.
Polly Blevins said…
You know, so many statistics are not even remotely is too bad that these statistics, if not accurate, are low balling it. Not only what you posted but most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. Tragic, very tragic. It is so sad that so many are unreported. Anyone who commits such heinous acts should be punished.
Cannwin said…
Thank you all for your love and support.

It's been many years. But I will expand more in future posts (not explicitly though cuz that's just awkward).

Diane said…
I'm sorry you've had such tragedy! I'm really proud of you for voicing it. We love you and are here for you.
Rachel Hunsaker said…
I was sexually abused as a very young child . . . . It's amazing how much it impacted my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood . . . I often wonder what my life would be like then and now if it never would have happened . . . Thanks for speaking up . . . It makes me less scared to speak up as well and share my experience . . . I wish I got to know you better when you were here, Charity, but I'm glad we are blogger and Facebook friends.

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