The Great and Random Ramblings of Cannwin

So, now that you know my biggest secret. And now that I know that everyone already pretty much had it figured out and I really didn't surprise anyone (boy was that a waste of stress!) I thought I'd approach the subject again with some new information I was reading about in the New York Times the other day. Yes, yes... I'm a New York Times snob... as of like three days ago even! (it's because I can get them for free at the school!) Anyway....The CDC, last week changed the definition of rape to include a much wider range of assault. This is HUGE! This changes the statistics on rape considerably. Especially when it concerns males.With the new findings some statistics estimate that the number of men raped rises from 1 in 71 to anywhere between 1 in 33 to 1 in 6. You can see the ramifications of such a definition change. Sexual assault of men is something that our society rarely talks about... and yet we see that it is as much of a problem as with women. This i...

POST WARNING: If you know me personally this post is about to rock your world so either don't read or sit down. “It takes two people to speak the truth: One to speak and another to hear.” – Henry David Thoreau We've all been in on a class or discussion where at some point the teacher points out that 1 in x number of people will have such and such a thing occur in their life. Have you ever been in a situation where the instructor makes ten people stand up and says "One of you will have ________ experience." (I have no clue where to put the question mark in that sentence... so lets just pretend it's there). Some of the more common statistics out there are things like: 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer in her lifetime. Cigarette smoking causes 1 in 5 deaths in the United States. 1 in 3 children are now considered obese. Well, there's some other statistics that you might not know about. Some that are a little more shocking....

When I was a child (a teen really) I told everyone that I didn't have regrets. That life was a journey and every choice we make leads us in the direction that takes us to where we currently are.... if we were to regret, we would be saying that we do not appreciate where we are in life. While I still logically believe in this, I have grown and the choices I have made have had far more greater consequences than those of my youth. Ironically, however, the choices of my youth (and experiences) weren't anything easy... so the choices of my adult years sometimes seem fairly overwhelming. So what, as a 31 year old, is my greatest regret? Well, I have two great regrets really. One is so personal that I'm not sure I've ever shared it with anyone... so obviously, I won't be sharing it with you either--not today at least. My other one, however, is a little easier to talk about. I regret not taking joy in every moment. In my life I have learned, very thoroughly, ...

I recently overheard a conversation about a man who had suffered a serious accident (pronounced dead twice) and walked away with only minor physical disabilities. The problem was that the man had been suffering from a debilitating depression ever since (15 years-ish). As is frequent in conversations of this sort, the topic of mountain moving came up. It was suggested that he had been saved from death for a great purpose within this life and he just needed to recognize his divine purpose. This is where I piped in. While not trying, in any way, to devalue the faith of those talking I tried to make them understand how dangerous that sort of talk was to the poor man. "Imagine," I said, "if you had been told for nearly half your life that you were capable of moving mountains and yet, no matter how hard you tried... you just couldn't manage to move one. How do you think that would affect you?" See, the thing is... I know how this feels... I know what it fe...

 Conversation between Vicbowin and me as she leaves for school: "Have a good day! I love you baby girl." I wave at her retreating bicycle. "Love you too Mom." She hollers back. "Be safe, and don't talk to anyone." "I know." Her voice is controlled patience. "And don't get in anybodies car, no matter what they say!" I shout at the last minute... just in case. " Moooooom! " Her patience is lost and she mutters imprecations under her breath. She hates it when I talk like that. The truth of the matter is I'm terrified I'll never see my children again and I have good reason, when I was thirteen I knew a girl who was kidnapped and murdered. There... I said it and now you know. It's not really one of those things I dwell on, but as the children get closer and closer to her age I can't help but pray that they will never meet her fate. Her name was Jeralee Underwood and I had known her family my ent...

About 95% of women diagnosed with Breast Cancer are over the age of 40. Breast Cancer is most common in Caucasion women followed by African-American and then Asian-American. However, African-American women are most likely to die from Breast Cancer. Every 69 seconds a woman dies of Breast Cancer. I gotta tell you guys... Breast Cancer scares me. A few years ago I found a lump just under inside my armpit and panicked. I immediately went into the doctor and was kindly informed that as the body gets older it begins to produce more lumps. I was okay, but I needed to watch the lump closely in case of any sudden growth. The doctor told me that what I wanted to look for is lumps that weren't perfectly round and/or that grew rapidly. We are bombarded with the phrase 'Breast Cancer' but are rarely given the knowledge needed to help ourselves. When they say lump, what exactly do they mean? What are my chances of getting Breast Cancer? Am I more likely to get it because...

I'm sure you've all seen the pink that's starting rearing it's glorious head in everyone nook and cranny of the shopping world. Did you know that Breast Cancer is the second leading type of cancer within women (Skin Cancer is #1). It's some serious business. This month, in my effort to 'make a difference' in my little corner of the blogosphere, I've decided to make Breast Cancer Awareness my topic of discussion. I'll also be featuring some of my favorite 'October Pink' products. Like Ford's Warriors in Pink product line. 100% of the net proceeds goes to the Susan G. Komen foundation. Here are some of their gorgeous products ( for all products click here ) 2010 Warrior Scarf - $33.00 Warrior Key Ring - $7.50 (My favorite product... I have a thing for key rings) Warrior Getaway Bag - $20.00 Stay tuned for more about Breast Cancer and more places to shop. If you have a survivor story you'd like to share, em...

The final story I want to share with you does not involve a parent and a child. It is the story of a young girl who fell in love with the wrong man. One of the number one questions people want the answer to regarding abuse is 'Why would any one stay!?' I hope this story gives you a better understanding of why. I was raised in an abusive home so I knew what abuse was first hand.  I always told myself I would never let anyone treat me that way or stay in a relationship that was abusive. I consider myself a pretty headstrong person when I want to be and that was one thing I would not budge on. I was living in Montana when I met him. He was the most attractive man I had ever seen, with sky blue eyes that took my breath away and a smile that made me weak in the knees. I was doing pretty well for myself at the time, I had my dream job, a nice place, and a beautiful dog. He and I were in the same group of friends. We hung out and over time I ...

The last two people I had talk to you guys about abuse were women, both struggled with a father's emotional and physical abuse. Today I am bringing to your attention the power of a father's abuse has on his sons. It is significantly different than the resulting life of a girl. Fathers are the example for a boy on how he is supposed to be. Imagine, if you will, a complete lack thereof. How would you cope if you lost your life's guide? How would you handle having to figure out correct behavior by yourself? “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.” - Benjamin Franklin I have thought of that quote often as I have ventured through my life.   When I was very young I realized that my world was different than other kids.  When I got a bad grade or when I said something wrong, I was spanked, and many times hit. While at home I had to deal with, physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological abuse.   T...

Searching for survivor's of domestic violence wasn't hard. Finding people willing to talk about their experiences was a different story. The stipulation of all of my blog 'guests' was that their stories remain anonymous. Some of these people I have known personally, others I have contact with on the internet, all are scared of the repercussions of their identities becoming known. Today's guest describes herself as a 'survivor' and truly she is. My father was my hero. He was big and strong and brave. He could solve any problem. He was smart and loved art and music and dance. He climbed mountains and skied down them again. He'd come and pick me up at school on my birthday and take me out for lunch at his favorite steakhouse. I adored him, and once I understood that it was impossible to marry him when I grew up, I knew I wanted to marry someone just like him. My father was my boogeyman. We never knew quite what to expect from him, although we al...

This month is the beginning of my attempts at a more in depth blog. It felt appropriate to start here.... at domestic violence. Fifteen years ago this month, a teen girl did one of the bravest, most courageous things she would ever do in her life--she dialed 911. I've known this girl for as long as I can remember. She is one of my closest, dearest friends and I want to tell you her story. For obvious reasons, I'm keeping her identity to myself. I was a little surprised when I realized it was 15 years ago. Can it really be that long? It doesn't feel like that.   It's all pretty much burned into my memory banks. I remember so clearly being angry. Tired and angry and ready to be done with all the stupid games we played in that house. My mom warned me not to wake my dad and I just sort of snapped inside. What did I care if my dad woke up!? Why couldn't I just live my life without fear of how he would react. I was so MAD. So I yelled and woke him up. I w...