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Wednesday Morning

Wow, what a fantastic morning! I set my alarm clock to wake me (us) up to nice refreshing music like Celtic Women and I think it really helped. Add to that the fact that I can smell the blossoms and the grass and that wonderful intoxicating morning air and I might say that it's a very promising morning.

Which means if something bad happens I won't see it coming at all.

I signed up for a yoga class over the summer. Have I mentioned to you that I've lost so much weight I am about the size I was in high school (just above a 6, just below an 8). All would be fantastic were it not for the pesky baby fat that will not go away. Maybe it's baby skin....

So yoga it is! I'm excited. I've always wanted to yoga, and it's fun to realize that the weight loss and exercise is all for me, none of it is motivated or asked for or hinted at by any one but me. It's very empowering realizing I have absolute control over every aspect of who I am. I'm not sure I've ever fully experienced this before.

There is no one in my life any more with whom I have to explain my actions too. I've whittled them out or watched them run and as painful as it has all been it has a certain freedom to it that I am proud of.

Yet, as I was reading my life guide book (A Gift From the Sea) one of the things I noticed in it for the first time was a snippet about how when we free ourselves from the expectations of others and learn to focus on our inner self, it's super important that we devise a personal code of conduct. This helps us to not 'fly off the deep end.' So, after weeks of thinking about that, I have come up with what my code of conduct is....

Quiet dignity.

That's it. Short, simple, to the point.

And less than a week later I totally threw that out the window and said something exceptionally mean to someone I imagine is in about as much pain as I am.

So, okay, I shall try again and again and again and again. I will achieve quiet dignity.

Because really if you think of a Phoenix they are always quite dignified and regal, don't you agree?

And, after all, that is what I am... A Phoenix. :)

Comments

Rob-bear said…
Quiet dignity. Yes, exactly. So Phoenix-like. Indeed

Glad you are reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Thought-provoking book, yet so kindly.

And if you practice yoga, you will become so flexible that you won't get "bent out of shape."

Blessings and Bear hugs.
Cannwin said…
Rob-Bear:
You are awesome :) I hope your new job won't bring you down. Just think of all the new people you can meet!
Quite dignity. I like it. And is it wrong of me to be slightly jealous of your new found/thrust upon freedom? Because I am...Just a tad.
Winans PTO said…
Keep it up, sister. Good thoughts. I just wanted to give you a cyberhug and let you know you're loved (and also leave a comment signed in as myself, not my husband or daughter, duh ;) love, Jamie
Rob-bear said…
Thanks, Cannwin, but this the third time I have been an interim pastor with this congregation when it was experiencing challenges. Or opportunities, as I like to think. Most of these people I have known for 30 years.

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This is a drawing I did right after my divorce, when I was trying to discover my life's course and who I was as a person. Divorce is this horrendously nasty thing that leaves a person with little to nothing of who they were before (at least that's how it was for me). My family was gone, at one point I had counted up blood/legal relatives that had stopped talking to me and it was nearly 60. Things were bad, but one of the recurring comments I heard from other divorcee's was 'Get bitter, or get better.' So I aimed for better. I came up with my own personal code of conduct (Quiet Dignity) and my own personal motto.

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