Notes From the Underground
(written offline on May19th)
The first week of my new life in Utah has passed and I will admit a burning desire to jump in my car and race back “home” to South Dakota.
After a grueling few days of unpacking Ralexwin left me with a kiss and an “I love you,” and headed north to Salt Lake City.
Three hours later Remewin started throwing up.
Six hours later the Mischievite did the same.
Five days later and Remewin was still at it.
I have had very little sleep. I've stripped my bed three times and Remewin's crib four times.
Today when Ralexwin called I told him I was very angry at him for taking me away from my home and my doctors and my friends and my comfort zone, then I cried and told him that I just wanted to go back.
But the vomits are hardly the only issue with my cross country move.
Everyone here is so PRETTY. Seriously.... not kidding I think I've moved to a mini-Hollywood or something. And my mother-in-law has about 5 times as many mirrors in her house as I ever have in mine. So I've started noticing a few flaws about myself (possibly the lack of sleep is helping?) and I'd like to know why no one mentioned that I was so FAT!?
People!? A little, “Gee, Cannwin, you seem to be gaining a lot of weight there,” was too hard?
All right, all right. I'm not being fair... I would have bit your head off if you'd mentioned it, but I was totally unprepared for that self-realization. I mean, I knew I'd gained a little, but this is ridiculous.
So... I went and bought myself a case of Slim-Fasts.
And then my mother-in-law made cookies.
::head-desk::
But on to other points of complaint. I hate making new friends. I mean, I'm a friendly person and I LOVE friends... but if you could read my mind, when I get into a crowd of people I don't know, what you would hear (see?) would be a running list of self-destruction.
-Her hair's so cute, mine isn't. She won't like me.
-She totally just looked past me. She must think I'm ugly.
-That lady is scowling in my direction, I'll bet she thinks my baby is too noisy.
The only saving grace for me in these times is other new people. So... luckily for me... the first Sunday here there were two other new girls at church. I managed to corner one of them. Her name is Heather and despite the fact that she is very skinny and her hair is fantastic and her eyes are bright (and not darkened underneath) and she clearly has no children trying to de-robe her in the middle of the chapel-- despite all those things, she talked to me. Maybe I'll manage to sit--scoot in--next to her during Sunday School next week, then maybe I can convince her to come over for dinner (always my best approach).
We'll drink Slim-Fasts together and chat about books. Okay... I'll drink a Slim-Fast and she can have real food and we'll hopefully talk books, since I don't actually know if she likes to read at all.
::sigh::
I'm sure I'll learn to love it here...
Comments
There comes a time when a woman needs to stop thinking about her looks and focus her energies on raising her children. This time comes at the moment of conception. A child needs a role model, not a supermodel. ~Astrid Alauda, on the "hot mom" trend
I think that quote says it well.
Good luck.
Also, Erin from If You Give a Mom a Moment lives in your general area & I know she's nice!
When we lived in Tempe I remember the women at church talking about those "East Mesa Mormons" who get boob jobs. I thought they were all being a bit prejudiced but now... hmm, I wonder. :)
That being said, I am looking forward to being able to get into a really good dermatologist or plastic surgeon myself, but only for some seriously over active scars, not for my breasts. ;)
The other thing I noticed is how hard it was to find a stupid caffeine free coke here. Ironic much?
And I really have to drink the C Free stuff because I'm a complete addict and it's better for everyone if I stay away.
I told Vicbowin that one trick to making a friend is to compliment people. If you are always the one saying the nice things and noticing things people will gravitate toward you. I suppose I need to stop being shy then, huh.
::sigh::