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Just Get Up And Pee

I tried living for the day, then for the moment, now I'm down to live in the minute.

This morning I woke up and layed there feeling the overwhelming hollowness that seems to have become a part of who I am.

My alarm clock went off the babies stirred in the bed next to me and I knew I had to get up... But I couldn't manage to do it.

I thought about my new motto: "I am a Phoenix, I was made for the fire."

It stirred something small in me but not enough to get me moving.

Then I remembered my friend telling me just take it minute by minute.

"Okay" I said to myself, "What do I need in this minute?"

Self answered, "You need to pee."

"Okay," I said to myself, "You can do that. Just get up and pee."

And now I'm at school. I guess it worked. My minute melded into an hour my hour merged into a day and here I am.

I even have a smile tickling the back of my lips.

That's good I suppose.

Comments

Ashy said…
That's a really good idea, living for the minute. I'll have to try that this next semester. You're so smart! :)
Lisa said…
I loved this post.

I think will forever start using your "what do I need this minute?" tactic.

This may have forever helped me.

Thank you.
Mrs. Miniver said…
It makes me sad that you feel hollow. I have felt that way before and it's so hard...such deep sadness. I wish I knew how to to take even a portion of other people's pain. It seems more fair to share the burden all around than to have one person hurt so much.

You'll get through this one step at a time, one smile at a time, one hug...one laugh. Hugs to you Charity.
Mrs. Miniver said…
It makes me sad that you feel hollow. I have felt that way before and it's so hard...such deep sadness. I wish I knew how to to take even a portion of other people's pain. It seems more fair to share the burden all around than to have one person hurt so much.

You'll get through this one step at a time, one smile at a time, one hug...one laugh. Hugs to you Charity.
Meaghan said…
Way to be Cannwin!! Love you! Minute by minute! :D
Hang in there Cannwin. You will conquer this. With flying colors.
Rosie said…
Oh, you wrote this so well! I felt it, too. Ditto what Mrs. Miniver said...hang in there, dear friend.

This reminded me of the morning after my Grandfather (who raised me like a daddy)passed away in Sept 2010. I had cried all night, I got up, got the kids off to school and planned to lay in bed and try to sleep thru the sadness and remember to breathe. I laid down, and clear as a bell, I felt my grandfather's voice say, "Get up and do what needs to be done." I knew I wasn't honoring him by laying down or neglecting my kids, so I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes and started doing one little thing at a time. This post reminded me of that week and I am so sorry you have to feel this grief. I am sorry for all of it, but proud of you for doing it all. And almost smiling, too ;)
Jamie said…
That was me, btw...I always seem to comment on someone else's login. Sounds like ur starting to breathe...yay, that. Xo.

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