Skip to main content

Just Get Up And Pee

I tried living for the day, then for the moment, now I'm down to live in the minute.

This morning I woke up and layed there feeling the overwhelming hollowness that seems to have become a part of who I am.

My alarm clock went off the babies stirred in the bed next to me and I knew I had to get up... But I couldn't manage to do it.

I thought about my new motto: "I am a Phoenix, I was made for the fire."

It stirred something small in me but not enough to get me moving.

Then I remembered my friend telling me just take it minute by minute.

"Okay" I said to myself, "What do I need in this minute?"

Self answered, "You need to pee."

"Okay," I said to myself, "You can do that. Just get up and pee."

And now I'm at school. I guess it worked. My minute melded into an hour my hour merged into a day and here I am.

I even have a smile tickling the back of my lips.

That's good I suppose.

Comments

Ashy said…
That's a really good idea, living for the minute. I'll have to try that this next semester. You're so smart! :)
Lisa said…
I loved this post.

I think will forever start using your "what do I need this minute?" tactic.

This may have forever helped me.

Thank you.
Mrs. Miniver said…
It makes me sad that you feel hollow. I have felt that way before and it's so hard...such deep sadness. I wish I knew how to to take even a portion of other people's pain. It seems more fair to share the burden all around than to have one person hurt so much.

You'll get through this one step at a time, one smile at a time, one hug...one laugh. Hugs to you Charity.
Mrs. Miniver said…
It makes me sad that you feel hollow. I have felt that way before and it's so hard...such deep sadness. I wish I knew how to to take even a portion of other people's pain. It seems more fair to share the burden all around than to have one person hurt so much.

You'll get through this one step at a time, one smile at a time, one hug...one laugh. Hugs to you Charity.
Meaghan said…
Way to be Cannwin!! Love you! Minute by minute! :D
Hang in there Cannwin. You will conquer this. With flying colors.
Rosie said…
Oh, you wrote this so well! I felt it, too. Ditto what Mrs. Miniver said...hang in there, dear friend.

This reminded me of the morning after my Grandfather (who raised me like a daddy)passed away in Sept 2010. I had cried all night, I got up, got the kids off to school and planned to lay in bed and try to sleep thru the sadness and remember to breathe. I laid down, and clear as a bell, I felt my grandfather's voice say, "Get up and do what needs to be done." I knew I wasn't honoring him by laying down or neglecting my kids, so I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes and started doing one little thing at a time. This post reminded me of that week and I am so sorry you have to feel this grief. I am sorry for all of it, but proud of you for doing it all. And almost smiling, too ;)
Jamie said…
That was me, btw...I always seem to comment on someone else's login. Sounds like ur starting to breathe...yay, that. Xo.

Popular posts from this blog

Altered Shoe Art: Ring Holder Shoe Tutorial

This was my week two craft for So You Think You're Crafty. I placed third that week for this one. I thought you might enjoy finding out how I made it.


I tried about a million different decorations before settling on one that didn't drown out my rings. I wanted them to the focal point. This is also why I went with black fabric and not something more vivid.

Don't be intimidated by the lack of 101 I'm giving you. It really is a straight forward sort of project. If you know how to use a glue gun without burning yourself you can do this. Just be sure to dust off your imaginative brain space first. :)

The one important thing you might be wondering is how I got the pink fabric to stick to the shoe. I really just Mod Podged it on.

There are several different ways to make ring tubes that you can find online. One I saw used that colored foam paper stuff that you find in the kids craft section. I thought that might have been easier, but I had scraps of batting lying around so I …

How-To Pretend You Work For Anthropologie

The problem with Anthropologie is that they cost way too much money. WAY TOO MUCH! I mean, come on--these book boxes:

Cost $68-$188!

Do you have that kind of money?

I don't, but you know what I do have? I have a library with a cart full of free books that no one really cares about! So guess what I did... I made my own (and then I gave them away because I really don't have anywhere to put them).

Here's how.
















What do you think?

I Am A Phoenix

This is a drawing I did right after my divorce, when I was trying to discover my life's course and who I was as a person. Divorce is this horrendously nasty thing that leaves a person with little to nothing of who they were before (at least that's how it was for me). My family was gone, at one point I had counted up blood/legal relatives that had stopped talking to me and it was nearly 60. Things were bad, but one of the recurring comments I heard from other divorcee's was 'Get bitter, or get better.' So I aimed for better. I came up with my own personal code of conduct (Quiet Dignity) and my own personal motto.

The motto the drawing is based off of is: 
"I am a Phoenix. I was born for the fire and I will rise from the ashes."
But, that's not all. Each aspect of the drawing has meaning. I researched these... so I hope I got them right. lol
I chose to make my image reminiscent of a mandala with the most significant parts at the very center. The shape i…