Skip to main content

Just Get Up And Pee

I tried living for the day, then for the moment, now I'm down to live in the minute.

This morning I woke up and layed there feeling the overwhelming hollowness that seems to have become a part of who I am.

My alarm clock went off the babies stirred in the bed next to me and I knew I had to get up... But I couldn't manage to do it.

I thought about my new motto: "I am a Phoenix, I was made for the fire."

It stirred something small in me but not enough to get me moving.

Then I remembered my friend telling me just take it minute by minute.

"Okay" I said to myself, "What do I need in this minute?"

Self answered, "You need to pee."

"Okay," I said to myself, "You can do that. Just get up and pee."

And now I'm at school. I guess it worked. My minute melded into an hour my hour merged into a day and here I am.

I even have a smile tickling the back of my lips.

That's good I suppose.

Comments

Ashy said…
That's a really good idea, living for the minute. I'll have to try that this next semester. You're so smart! :)
Lisa said…
I loved this post.

I think will forever start using your "what do I need this minute?" tactic.

This may have forever helped me.

Thank you.
Mrs. Miniver said…
It makes me sad that you feel hollow. I have felt that way before and it's so hard...such deep sadness. I wish I knew how to to take even a portion of other people's pain. It seems more fair to share the burden all around than to have one person hurt so much.

You'll get through this one step at a time, one smile at a time, one hug...one laugh. Hugs to you Charity.
Mrs. Miniver said…
It makes me sad that you feel hollow. I have felt that way before and it's so hard...such deep sadness. I wish I knew how to to take even a portion of other people's pain. It seems more fair to share the burden all around than to have one person hurt so much.

You'll get through this one step at a time, one smile at a time, one hug...one laugh. Hugs to you Charity.
Meaghan said…
Way to be Cannwin!! Love you! Minute by minute! :D
Hang in there Cannwin. You will conquer this. With flying colors.
Rosie said…
Oh, you wrote this so well! I felt it, too. Ditto what Mrs. Miniver said...hang in there, dear friend.

This reminded me of the morning after my Grandfather (who raised me like a daddy)passed away in Sept 2010. I had cried all night, I got up, got the kids off to school and planned to lay in bed and try to sleep thru the sadness and remember to breathe. I laid down, and clear as a bell, I felt my grandfather's voice say, "Get up and do what needs to be done." I knew I wasn't honoring him by laying down or neglecting my kids, so I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes and started doing one little thing at a time. This post reminded me of that week and I am so sorry you have to feel this grief. I am sorry for all of it, but proud of you for doing it all. And almost smiling, too ;)
Jamie said…
That was me, btw...I always seem to comment on someone else's login. Sounds like ur starting to breathe...yay, that. Xo.

Popular posts from this blog

Altered Shoe Art: Ring Holder Shoe Tutorial

This was my week two craft for So You Think You're Crafty. I placed third that week for this one. I thought you might enjoy finding out how I made it.


I tried about a million different decorations before settling on one that didn't drown out my rings. I wanted them to the focal point. This is also why I went with black fabric and not something more vivid.

Don't be intimidated by the lack of 101 I'm giving you. It really is a straight forward sort of project. If you know how to use a glue gun without burning yourself you can do this. Just be sure to dust off your imaginative brain space first. :)

The one important thing you might be wondering is how I got the pink fabric to stick to the shoe. I really just Mod Podged it on.

There are several different ways to make ring tubes that you can find online. One I saw used that colored foam paper stuff that you find in the kids craft section. I thought that might have been easier, but I had scraps of batting lying around so I …

How-To Pretend You Work For Anthropologie

The problem with Anthropologie is that they cost way too much money. WAY TOO MUCH! I mean, come on--these book boxes:

Cost $68-$188!

Do you have that kind of money?

I don't, but you know what I do have? I have a library with a cart full of free books that no one really cares about! So guess what I did... I made my own (and then I gave them away because I really don't have anywhere to put them).

Here's how.
















What do you think?

Who I Am #6

A moment when I achieved absolute happiness was...

One of the most wonderful philosophies of my religion is the concept of eternal familes, which is a sure knowledge that families are forever and can be together well beyond this life.
The first step towards this (besides baptism and such) is to be married for time and all eternity. This takes place within the walls of holy temples.
Unfortunately as life and choice go, Ralexwin and I made the decision to not start our marriage off this way. We were married in a church and the Bishop who performed the ceremony pronounced us husband and wife 'till death do us part.'
It was a bitter sweet moment for many members of my family. Knowing what I was missing out on.
Ralexwin and I at that time were not prepared spiritually for the further commitments of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We were young and unsure of our own faith and beliefs and therefore chose to put them aside.
Life went on.
We went to church as often as we could but were fairly cas…