Just Get Up And Pee
I tried living for the day, then for the moment, now I'm down to live in the minute.
This morning I woke up and layed there feeling the overwhelming hollowness that seems to have become a part of who I am.
My alarm clock went off the babies stirred in the bed next to me and I knew I had to get up... But I couldn't manage to do it.
I thought about my new motto: "I am a Phoenix, I was made for the fire."
It stirred something small in me but not enough to get me moving.
Then I remembered my friend telling me just take it minute by minute.
"Okay" I said to myself, "What do I need in this minute?"
Self answered, "You need to pee."
"Okay," I said to myself, "You can do that. Just get up and pee."
And now I'm at school. I guess it worked. My minute melded into an hour my hour merged into a day and here I am.
I even have a smile tickling the back of my lips.
That's good I suppose.
This morning I woke up and layed there feeling the overwhelming hollowness that seems to have become a part of who I am.
My alarm clock went off the babies stirred in the bed next to me and I knew I had to get up... But I couldn't manage to do it.
I thought about my new motto: "I am a Phoenix, I was made for the fire."
It stirred something small in me but not enough to get me moving.
Then I remembered my friend telling me just take it minute by minute.
"Okay" I said to myself, "What do I need in this minute?"
Self answered, "You need to pee."
"Okay," I said to myself, "You can do that. Just get up and pee."
And now I'm at school. I guess it worked. My minute melded into an hour my hour merged into a day and here I am.
I even have a smile tickling the back of my lips.
That's good I suppose.
Comments
I think will forever start using your "what do I need this minute?" tactic.
This may have forever helped me.
Thank you.
You'll get through this one step at a time, one smile at a time, one hug...one laugh. Hugs to you Charity.
You'll get through this one step at a time, one smile at a time, one hug...one laugh. Hugs to you Charity.
This reminded me of the morning after my Grandfather (who raised me like a daddy)passed away in Sept 2010. I had cried all night, I got up, got the kids off to school and planned to lay in bed and try to sleep thru the sadness and remember to breathe. I laid down, and clear as a bell, I felt my grandfather's voice say, "Get up and do what needs to be done." I knew I wasn't honoring him by laying down or neglecting my kids, so I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes and started doing one little thing at a time. This post reminded me of that week and I am so sorry you have to feel this grief. I am sorry for all of it, but proud of you for doing it all. And almost smiling, too ;)