April 11, 2012
Just Get Up And Pee
This morning I woke up and layed there feeling the overwhelming hollowness that seems to have become a part of who I am.
My alarm clock went off the babies stirred in the bed next to me and I knew I had to get up... But I couldn't manage to do it.
I thought about my new motto: "I am a Phoenix, I was made for the fire."
It stirred something small in me but not enough to get me moving.
Then I remembered my friend telling me just take it minute by minute.
"Okay" I said to myself, "What do I need in this minute?"
Self answered, "You need to pee."
"Okay," I said to myself, "You can do that. Just get up and pee."
And now I'm at school. I guess it worked. My minute melded into an hour my hour merged into a day and here I am.
I even have a smile tickling the back of my lips.
That's good I suppose.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."