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Showing posts from April, 2012

Wednesday Morning

Wow, what a fantastic morning! I set my alarm clock to wake me (us) up to nice refreshing music like Celtic Women and I think it really helped. Add to that the fact that I can smell the blossoms and the grass and that wonderful intoxicating morning air and I might say that it's a very promising morning.

Which means if something bad happens I won't see it coming at all.

I signed up for a yoga class over the summer. Have I mentioned to you that I've lost so much weight I am about the size I was in high school (just above a 6, just below an 8). All would be fantastic were it not for the pesky baby fat that will not go away. Maybe it's baby skin....

So yoga it is! I'm excited. I've always wanted to yoga, and it's fun to realize that the weight loss and exercise is all for me, none of it is motivated or asked for or hinted at by any one but me. It's very empowering realizing I have absolute control over every aspect of who I am. I'm not sure I've …

Monday Morning

I ought to be writing an essay on Wassily Kandinsky's composition VII, but I'm not.

I'm here instead feeling guilty for forsaking you. I have been very bad at keeping up with you guys.

Its truly because I think to myself... what am I supposed to say?!

Monday--"Today I woke up and wished beyond all reason that I could just lay in bed and cry instead."

Tuesday--"Today I woke up and wished beyond all reason that I could just lay in bed and cry instead."

Wednesday--"Today I woke up and wished beyond all reason that I could just lay in bed and cry instead."

Not very fun for anyone and not healthy for me.

So I have to come up with some other things to talk about.

I just can't really come up with anything.

I have dropped down to between a size 6 and 8. This is a very big deal since I have not been so small since I've been married. It's very exciting. :)

Other notable happy things in my life-- I have finished a desk I was working on for mo…

Just Get Up And Pee

I tried living for the day, then for the moment, now I'm down to live in the minute.

This morning I woke up and layed there feeling the overwhelming hollowness that seems to have become a part of who I am.

My alarm clock went off the babies stirred in the bed next to me and I knew I had to get up... But I couldn't manage to do it.

I thought about my new motto: "I am a Phoenix, I was made for the fire."

It stirred something small in me but not enough to get me moving.

Then I remembered my friend telling me just take it minute by minute.

"Okay" I said to myself, "What do I need in this minute?"

Self answered, "You need to pee."

"Okay," I said to myself, "You can do that. Just get up and pee."

And now I'm at school. I guess it worked. My minute melded into an hour my hour merged into a day and here I am.

I even have a smile tickling the back of my lips.

That's good I suppose.

Friday

Ralexwin is taking the kidlets camping this weekend. This leaves me with absolutely nothing to do for three whole days.

I can't believe how much I dread them being gone. Like my purpose for being is going in vacation. I seriously need to expand my pool of friends but for the life of me I can't seem to do it. It's like in the years of just finding friends at church I've completely lost the ability to do so in any other way. Well I suppose that and now everyone who is my age has other obligations beyond keeping me occupied...like families.

So... I will probably stay home and clean the house and do homework and try not to be lonely.

My best friend says that when her son is with his dad she tries her hardest not to go home until the last possible minute every night.

Maybe that's what I will learn to do.

What ate you doing this weekend?

Wednesday

I smell like onions. It's all over my fingers and I can't seem to get it off!

It's probably because I burnt the onions last night. You might be wondering how someone burns onions... Well it takes some serious skills involving having two hands being needed in a million places at once. Essentially single momming it as a complete definition.

First you have to take a woman trying to cook dinner and add a two year old who needs to pee.

Next add a ten year old sister who refuses to help the two year old on the premise that pee is gross!

Then to spice things up you need to wait until the two year old wets her panties all over the floor and down the hall. Add in--tears and hysteria from both the girl children and a little hollering from cooking woman. Stir thoroughly.

Once this is all in the pot (with the sautéeing onions) make sure the baby slips in the pee and hits her head... Twice.

Add a quick bath, the arrival of the dinner guest, a still wailing ten year old who swears sh…

Sunshine Daisies, Butter Mellow...

I. Seriously. Need. Some. New. Pants.

I have lost so much weight in the last 2 months that I don't actually have pants that fit. My smallest pair is now too big and I sadly no longer have cute bum jeans. I have hang off my hips, cinch my belt jeans.

The worst part is that all my jeans are from the Buckle and cost me at least $90 each. That kills me! Also... can I tell you a secret.... my bras don't fit either .... this is horrible as well (for many reasons) because I bought them at Victoria Secret for $50 each!

I'm out like $500 in clothes alone!

They aren't kidding when they say divorce is expensive.

On a side note, however, I used a big word in my communications class and the entire room went silent--even the teacher who said, "Wow, that's a big word." I was embarrassed which was made only worse by my friend laughing and telling me that everyone in the class must have been thinking NERD! (don't worry I punched her).

Well, so, he was describing the w…