The Great and Random Ramblings of Cannwin

It is finals week for me, and I am extremely excited to be done with it. I overdid myself this semester and took 14 credits. That's five classes. This may not sound like much (just two over the average) but for a single-mom with four children and a job this was insanity. Especially since two of those classes were English classes and I was forced to write WAY more than I had time for (I had three essays due this week totaling nearly 20 pages of writing and another 3-4 of pure citations). Also, I moved. Yep. I moved in with a friend and her partner. They are the best and gave my children and I a place to stay until I have my feet back under me. The rent is half what I was paying. It's a tight fit for all of us but it's so much better than where the kids and I were at that I couldn't be more grateful. Next semester I am going to be dropping down to part-time and focusing on working more hours so I can actually afford to live. I'm also consi...

I think learning another language is going to be the death of me. I had all these high hopes for getting A's from now on in college and now all I can think is.... B's are good too. But I can say 'no me gusta pongo salsa en mi comida' which possibly translates into I do not like sauce in my food. Oh dear....

Well... I bought a new car. Well, new to me. It cost me a months rent that I'm not sure how I'm going to recover from, but at least I can take the kids to school. SuperFreak found it on craiglist for me and nearly died from excitement. It's a 1997 Chrysler Concorde with only 81,500 and it's all mine now. I also got a job. This is the real excitement in my life because it's a job as a writing tutor at the college. It pays minimum wage and I only get a few hours a week (which really is all I can do) but oh my I love it! I don't think I've ever truly loved a job before but I feel like I can excel at this. Life is good. It's hard and it's crazy but it's good... Now... if I could only figure out how to pay that rent. :/

I seriously don't know what I did to piss off the god of karma but this year has been the worst ever for me. Yesterday at 3:15 pm I was driving through an intersection when a red car magically appeared right in front of me. I T-boned the poor lady and totaled my stupid car. All the witnesses say I ran a red light but I would swear on a stack of bibles it was green. They also told the police officer that I was texting, which I was not and can prove! Albowin got to ride in an ambulance to the ER where they inspected his eye for glass. None was there. No one was seriously hurt, although today my wrist hurts so bad I can't even squeeze the cap of a soda bottle. I have no car. I have no money to buy a car and I now have a ticket for running a red light. I would very very very much like to move back to South Dakota where my life was simple. I would also like this year to freakin' end already!!!!

My days are so crazy right now that sometimes I wonder how on Earth I'm actually keeping up with it all. I get up at 7AM and go, go, go until at least 10PM. But just telling you that isn't going to give you a real idea of what I do. So I'll lay it out for you. ** 7AM My alarm goes off and I stumble out of bed rubbing my eyes and shuffling to the kids rooms. I don't get the opportunity to hit the snooze button because if I'm not up and moving within 5 minutes of that alarm we are all late. 7:50AM We HAVE to be out of the house by now if we are going to have any breathing room for our schedules. Which really means if we aren't all yelling at each other all the way to the Irish Twins school then we need to be in the car by now. 8:00AM When we typically leave the house. 8:13AM When the Irish Twins usually make it to school and barrel out of the car. 8:15AM When their school starts. 8:30AM Drop the Mischievite and Rem...

This last weekend I went to my first ever Demolition Derby... you know, those red-neck American things where people have an excuse to hit each other's cars. I wish I had more pictures than this but I used SuperFreak's camera and not my own. Who is SuperFreak?! You may be wondering.... This is: SuperFreak is obviously not his real name... but it fits. lol. Anyway, SuperFreak was driving in the Demolition Derby with the above car. This would be a before image, it's not so pretty in the after image. I had a lot of fun though! Now I want to drive a Demolition Derby Car. You know there was only one girl in the whole thing (okay maybe there were 2)! That's unacceptable. Women need to stand up for themselves and do cool things like crash cars together. I mean if we are as "bad" at driving as everyone keeps complaining we should be pretty kick-a** at a Crash-Up Derby. Right!? Well... that's what I think at least. Anyway...

Summer has been fantastic. I spent my weekends wandering around Southern Utah with friends and trying my hardest to avoid the scorching summer sun. Sadly, I didn't have the internet on all my excursions. Or at home either. Stupid internet. So, on Monday I'm headed back to school, I'm excited... I'm taking Spanish, Intermediate English Composition, and Math. Oh and Library Science (which I fully plan to test out of in the first week of classes--someone lecture me if I don't please). Anyway. I'm hoping to be able to blog more often from school and my laptop because I will have more access to the internet than I currently do.  I seem to always be apologizing for non-blogging lately. I'll stop doing that. :) Oh...  And I met someone. He makes me smile.

Over the weekend I went up to Bryce Canyon with some pretty awesome people I know. It was fun, but not the story I want to tell you. On our way up we noticed this car driving up the frontage road so fast that it past us on the freeway. This is really saying something because I-15 up through Utah is an 80mph road.... I usually go 85. So this guy was going at least 90. And the frontage road wasn't paved. So, we're watching him and making all sorts of comments about how he's catching just a bit of air every time he goes over a bump, or how we're just waiting for him to skid. Then I say "I've never actually seen a car accident." It was like I jinxed the poor shmuck, because right then he skids. Dust envelopes his car and for a moment all we could see was the cloud of brown, then we saw him. FLIP-FLIP-FLIP. We're pretty sure he went front over end first and then side over side. We were mesmerized! And neither of us thought did anything but watch f...

I'm going to try going back to some very basic blogging tactics I used years ago to kick start my writing. Probably not all of these but a few of them like: True Me Tuesday or finish up my 52 Photos series or Kids Say the Darndest Things . The problem with my 52 photos, or any photos for that matter, is Rosa and I had to part ways recently... so the pictures will be a bit grainy as they will be from my iPod, Blanca. Any other ideas you have for me? Or blogging themes and memes that I used to do that you miss? I miss you guys very much. I am working on getting back into the swing of blogging every weekday.

I'm sitting here in the brand newest cool building on campus waiting for my class to start and doing several things. 1) Watching the construction workers outside my window... very fun. ::wink-wink:: 2) Thinking about my impending weekend, I think I'm going to Bryce Canyon to watch some friends run a half-marathon. I've never been to Bryce Canyon. 3) Trying to filter out all the things I might find fun to do as a career from those things that I think would be AWESOME to do as a career. I know we've talked about this before, but hey this is my forum so I get to talk about whatever the holy he** I want to right!? So here's what I know: Feminism makes me feel alive and full of purpose. Domestic Violence prevention and support is something I feel I'm pretty knowledgeable about. I love to write and am in the Bachelors of Arts in English program. I want to get a Bachelors in either English or Women's Studies. I want to get a Master's Degree in...

I'm sitting on my bed at 10:40PM not doing homework. I ought to be writing a paper... but its near the end of the semester and my pile of homework should be doings is getting long and tiring. So I thought... 'I ought to blog.' Independence Day was crazy and consisted of several vomiting children. I think I should go through all past holidays on here and just count up which ones involved the stomach flu because I seriously think I'm jinxed. Albowin actually threw up in front of about 40 people right in the middle of the fireworks show. That was a first for me, I've never actually had a child throw up in public before. But it's passed through our house now (knock on wood) and moved on to some other poor souls home. Anyway. Now I feel guilt about not doing homework so I will go. Perhaps I will have more to talk about tomorrow. This blog post seems strangely lacking. :)

Tomorrow is our countries birthday yet again. Usually during holidays I like to think back onto past ones and reminisce. I'd rather not do that this year. This year will be different than any year ever before in my life. So  I am going to have fun with my kids and my friends. I will enjoy the hot summer weather and endure the wailing of my over heated children. I will possibly barbecue and eat watermelon and watch fireworks and just live. Then it will be back to school on Thursday. I'm almost done with the semester. 6 more credits almost done with. WOOHOO! Did I mention that I made my decision to study feminism official? Yep. Well, as official as I can make it at this school. I declared that I am seeking a Bachelors of Arts in English with an emphasis in gender issues. The nice thing is that because I am so early into the process of school I can hand pick all my elective credits to go with my emphasis. I am excited. :) In other news: The other day Albowin declar...

I am typing this on my brand-new-very-own-bought-it-myself computer. She's silver... so in honor of all the other names I have for my electronic devices (Blanca is my ipod-touch, Roja was my camera that I no longer have) I have decided to name this little lady Platty.... for plateado which means silver in spanish... and is the color of my girl. Today I scrolled through all the blogs I follow for the first time in 6 months. It felt fantastic! Like I finally came home or something. So now I can sit here and write til my fingers go numb and be at one with my words again. I'M SO EXCITED! Oh, and she takes pictures and has a built in webcam (hint-hint Meaghan!): (This is me trying to figure out how to work the webcam) I am a happy single lady today. Buying my own computer was super scary, but I feel empowered by doing so... that's sort of funny I suppose.

Life is plugging along for me and mine. This week my kidlets are with their dad at a family reunion, the timing is pretty perfect since midterms are this week for me and I could use the extra study time. I have a car that hates me... I've decided to name her Bane (have I mentioned this). My friends say I ought to just buy a new one, but that really isnt an option so she and I plug along together waiting for her to give up and fall apart in the middle of the road. I should meet people who can teach me about how to fix cars. Love you all. :) Cannwin

Started summer school yesterday. I have to tell you, I hate hate hate the first day of classes. Is it really necessary to scare the be-jee-be's out of us? I get way too stressed out about such things I suppose. I also dyed my hair. :) Which has elicited multiple reactions from people. Mostly I've been told I'm having a mid-life crisis. I can assure you I am not nearly old enough to have such things and if you knew me as a kid you would know hair dye is sort of something I enjoy. Anyway.... I need to be more diligent about writing on here. I love you all so much and hate the idea that I'm forsaking my devoted readers. I will try harder. :)

Yesterday I got a real good whiff of the gossip going around about me. And I have a few things to say about it... 1. When describing my physical attributes to people who don't know me, but for some reason need to know why you think I'm getting a divorce, accuracy is important. Now I know it's so much less intimidating if I am the 'big girl' but let's be honest here people. I'm not fat and I'm not ugly. I know this is much more threatening to you and somehow makes my crimes harder to digest but if you're going to smear my name all over town at least have the decency to try for accuracy. 2. It seriously takes two people to make or break any relationship. Not just one... And it's not really your business anyway. 3. I lost everyone I know... It's taken me months to build up even the few friends that I have now. When you stop those people and tell them to watch out for me because I'm nothing but trouble you are quite literally under...

I got in a car accident this week. Totally my fault. I rear ended a big SUV with a nice thick hitch right on the back. Naturally her car was unhurt. Mine is a little worse for the wear but still alive. I'm becoming a statistical anomaly.

Well, what can I say... When it rains it pours... And this holds true in my life as well. So about five years ago I started having this severe pain in my right side. I went to the doctor and after running the appropriate tests for infection ruled it to be an ovarian cyst and sent me on my way. Every few months from then until now I would have some severe, put me out of commission for a few days (sometimes a week) pain in my right side. Anyone close to me knows this about my life. They would also know that I attributed it to cysts and learned to live with it. Well lately (meaning last month and a half) the pain has been getting worse and more frequent. Finally culminating in an early morning visit to the instacare mid-April. The instacare sent me home saying they couldnt tell what it was and told me if the pain increased to go to the Emergency Room. My Facebook status that afternoon was something like 'if 10 is me giving birth sunny side up in the wilderness while a mounta...

Finals are done. I am free from school for 3 whole weeks. I am going to get a book and run away to another world. Any suggestions?

I ought to be writing an essay on Wassily Kandinsky's composition VII, but I'm not. I'm here instead feeling guilty for forsaking you. I have been very bad at keeping up with you guys. Its truly because I think to myself... what am I supposed to say?! Monday--"Today I woke up and wished beyond all reason that I could just lay in bed and cry instead." Tuesday--"Today I woke up and wished beyond all reason that I could just lay in bed and cry instead." Wednesday--"Today I woke up and wished beyond all reason that I could just lay in bed and cry instead." Not very fun for anyone and not healthy for me. So I have to come up with some other things to talk about. I just can't really come up with anything. I have dropped down to between a size 6 and 8. This is a very big deal since I have not been so small since I've been married. It's very exciting. :) Other notable happy things in my life-- I have finished a desk I wa...